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Posts tagged ‘life coach’

Dec 9

Leadership Is Difficult: 8 Lessons For New Leaders

Leadership is hard. Being a new leader is even more difficult.

About half of those hired into a leadership position fail. Reasons for this colossal failure rate are many. Sometimes the issues are organizational in nature, such as a lack of leadership training,  feedback, mentoring, or a poor hiring processes or dysfunctional culture. Others are caused by personality attributes ill-suited to leadership including arrogance, control issues, insensitivity and selfishness.

“The greatest leader is not necessarily

But most of the time, the reason for leadership turnover are subtle and spring from a lack of organizational- and self-awareness, as well as the needs of your employees.

The following are leadership lessons I wish someone shared with me 20 years ago before learning them the hard way.

Two Under-appreciated New Leader Issues

First, many new leaders do not know how leadership performance is measured. Front-line staff (and some managers) performance is based largely on “doing” activities such as sales, the number of news releases written or videos produced. New leaders who remain in a “doing” mindset (rather than leading) prevent their team and their organization from reaching its potential.

Leaders are graded on a matrix of factors such as the performance and satisfaction of their team members, political proficiency, emotional intelligence, effective communication and many other “soft” skills.

A second key lesson was: the only person whose behavior I can control is mine. It is a powerful myth that a new title means your every wish will be carried out without any additional effort. Effective leaders communicate objectives, motivate their team to action and direct progress without over or undermanaging. Leaders unable to figure this out will become frustrated and angry that their team members are not mind readers, and end up overmanaging.

6 Additional Tips For New Leaders  

Self-awareness.  A mentor, coach or therapist (or any combination of the three) is a must for new leaders to help build self-awareness. In order to lead others, you must know yourself, what makes you tick, you blind spots, what drives your best and worst behaviors, and how you appear to others.

See the big picture.  Cultivate an understanding how you and your team fit into the organization’s mission, vision, values and business outcomes.

It’s Not About You. If you can’t get the best from your team, you will never reach your potential as a leader.

It’s All About You. All eyes are on you at all times. Leaders must walk their talk. Those who don’t will never be fully trusted by their teams, peers and their own one-up.

Listen. Resist the pressure to jump to solutions when there is a problem. Listen to your team and let them create or co-create new, better ways to do their work.

Remove obstacles.  Poor leaders are an obstacle. The best leaders remove them whenever possible to unleash performance and build trust.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Dec 2

5 Ways To Manage A Micromanager 

No one benefits when a leader turns into a micromanager (although I prefer the term overmanager). It creates strife for leaders, employees and entire organizations.

A short and sweet definition of micromanagement/overmanagement is a leader/supervisor who gives excessive direction to employees. Another crucial point is overmanaging is not mentoring. The latter increases the skill set and self-reliance of employees, and the former creates paralysis.

Why Overmanage?

While leaders overmanage for many reasons, the following are frequently cited in literature.  micro-blog

  • Starting a new position, she lacks trust in team members
  • Intense pressure to reach goals
  • Insecure in her leadership skills
  • Believes no one else can do the work as well as she
  • Fears being blamed for the mistakes of others

In practice, the overmanager physically or virtually hovers over her employees as they work on projects. She dictates instead of mentors, finds fault rather than encourages, and assigns blame in place of learning. Other hallmarks of overmanagers include poor delegation skills, requires she makes all “significant” decisions (usually a moving target) and makes criticism personal.

Leaders and organizations are hurt by overmanagement because it damages productivity, creativity, trust, communication and engagement. Even from a selfish perspective, leaders should recognize overmanaging has no positive value. Being a helicopter leader chews up a lot of time, creates additional work for yourself, adds stress to your day and shifts energy away from other pressing projects.

Overmanaging can be a hard habit to break. For many leaders it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As employees learn to fear punishment for making “wrong” decisions, they will stop making decisions. When this happens, the overmanager’s belief that no one else is good or smart or skilled enough to complete a project is reinforced. Many replace “problem” team members only to start the same process with new employees.

A Better Way

Experience has taught me that when I fully communicate expectations and goals, as well as provide the required resources, and check in on a scheduled basis to monitor progress, the completed project exceeds expectations 100 percent of the time.

In addition, there is usually more than a single “right” way to approach a project. My team members often have deeper insights than me, thank goodness, so why move forward with “my” solution instead of a better solution?

How To Work With An Overmanager

For those struggling with a overmanager, here are five tips that may make your life easier.

Thank. This is not always easy, but thank your leader for his interest and guidance.

Listen. When being corrected or criticized, do not become defensive. Listen to learn what your leader expects – not to respond. Seek patterns in his comments that create a greater understanding of his thought process.

Explain. After you begin to understand your leader’s thought process, explain yours and emphasize similarities.

Share. Sometimes creating or increasing check-in meetings to review progress can relax the overmanager.

Look. Does your leader overmanage others? If so, recognize you are not the trigger for his overmanaging behaviors.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

 

Nov 24

Bully Bosses Are Easy To Spot But Hard To Stop  

Bullies are not just a problem in schools, playgrounds or cyberspace. They are also a common presence at work. And when the bully is a boss, careers, teams and organizations can be ruined.

According to a 2014 Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) survey, 72 percent of adult Americans are aware that bullying has or is taking place at their workplace. Twenty-seven percent report they have been or are currently being bullied on the job.

The WBI defines workplace bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators.” Bully behaviors are:Simple peck-order bullying is only the

  • Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or
  • Sabotage that prevents work from getting done, or
  • Verbal abuse

In the workplace, sexual harassment is one of the very few bullying behaviors that is illegal. It is not unusual for companies to lack policies that define workplace bullying behaviors, which makes it difficult for victims to find support.

Why Be A Bully?

What often drives bully boss behavior is the need to control or manipulate people and situations to preserve their ego and status at work. They are also jealous of others’ success, and demand credit for others’ accomplishments.

The stereotypical bully boss creates fear with public tantrums, diatribes, criticism and harassment. However, most are less predictable about who, how, and when they conduct campaigns of intimidation. Some alternate between “good” and  “bad” days. On “good” days, they can be charming and professional. On “bad” days, no one is safe – especially one of their targets. In these offices an informal network develops with the sole purpose of warning co-workers when the boss is having one of his “bad” days.

Passive aggressive behaviors sometimes give away bully bosses. I have watched bully bosses allow projects to proceed only to step in once they are underway and reverse course. This allows the bully to control a project without having to participate in its development (which is beneath them), and publicly place blame for the failure on the target for, in essence, not reading the bully’s mind.

Another classic passive-aggressive behavior is being chronically late. This is one way the bully boss lets others know who is in control of the meeting, as well as a reminder of the organizational pecking order (i.e., whatever I was doing earlier is more important than this, and, you can’t do anything without me).

What Can You Do?

Go to Human Resources. According to the WBI survey, 82 percent of bully bosses keep their jobs. As a result, this tactic can lead to retaliation as the bully tries to convince HR you have an attitude or performance problem (and is often successful).

Find a buffer. If you have a supervisor between you and the bully, use them as a shield to minimize your contact with the bully.

Don’t Respond In The Moment. When you are being verbally attacked, let your bully know that you appreciate their input and will get back to him after you have time to consider what he shared.

Update your CV. Odds are very good your boss bully will never be called out on his behavior, so be prepared to either transfer to another department or find employment elsewhere.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Nov 9

7 Reasons Leaders Fail

To mangle a 270-year-old sonnet written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning — How do we dislike our bosses? Let us count the ways.

Survey after survey, Americans (and everyone else) trash their bosses. Gallup reports only 12 percent of American workers are engaged. Research conducted and published by Inc. reveals 75 percent of employees say their boss is the worst part of their job. And two-thirds add a new (better) boss is even more desired than a pay raise.

Ouch!

Common Causes Of Employee DissatisfactionBus

Harvard Business Review (HBR) surveyed 300,000 workers and finds the issues workers have with leadership are almost equally divided between actions, and the failure to act.

You’re boring. This is the top complaint of the HBR sample. People look to leaders to create an environment that gets them fired up and inspired. Leaders who failed in their role were often described as being passive and unenthusiastic.

Lack of structure. While few people enjoy being micromanaged, most want structure and direction that support high performance. When goals and timelines are fuzzy or flexible, employees are thrown off balance. The result is stress, hesitation, confusion and frustration.

Image is everything. Leaders more concerned with how they look to their boss rather than their team are unpopular with their followers. These tend to be credit-hogging, under-the-bus throwing leaders whose greatest fear is being outshone by a subordinate (or peer).

Good enough is good enough. Easy to achieve goals do nothing to inspire or reward high performance and top performers. The message these leaders send is “do your job, only your job, and keep your head down.” Not a very inspiring message (see You’re boring).

Play favorites. Leaders seduced into giving plumb assignments to team members who kiss up are viewed as weak and lacking emotional intelligence by followers and peers. Playing favorites  divides followers into “in” and “out” groups and hurts team performance.

Don’t walk the talk. It is pretty easy to understand a leader who preaches “work comes first” and is the last-in and first-out of the office are sowing seeds of resentment. Leaders who fail to keep their word are not considered trustworthy by their teams.

Never change. Leaders who reject every suggestion for improving processes and performance alienate their team. Without any input on what they do or how it is done, people often disengage, which damages their satisfaction, productivity, and enhances turnover.

Leadership is never easy. But, given all the attention improving leadership skills receives, is this list discouraging to you?  If so, what can we do to help leaders succeed?

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, IL., and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Nov 4

(Almost) Anyone Can Become A Leader

Dig into a simple question, such as “what is leadership?” and you will soon be chin deep in a sea of academic papers, books, and contradictory opinions.

Fortunately, I didn’t drown. After 20 years of reading and 30 years of working, I believe the foundation of good leadership is not complicated. However, it can prove elusive to master, and not everyone is cut out for it.

(Almost) Anyone Can Become A Leader

Fortunately, elements of leadership can be learned, and some research points to three specific qualities that are foundational for leader effectiveness. These three qualities have proven to be important in my leadership journey, as well as leaders I have worked with through the years.

Confidence. When a leader has the confidence to take action, it definitely speaks volumes to your followers, peers and supervisor. Confidence is not hubris. It doesn’t imply a leader has all the answers. Instead, leaders assess available options, take appropriate risks, make decisions, and accept responsibility for how their decisions impact their team and the organization.

Confident leaders are far more likely to have an optimistic vision of the present and future. When employees buy into a leader’s positive expectations, they become engaged in a common vision. Their enthusiasm and energy generates action and momentum that sustains gains in performance.

End of the road. Nothing to do, and no

Altruism. An effective leader uses their personal and positional power to benefit others. These leaders manage their teams up in public and private, as well as serve as a mentor. Research is clear that recognition and praise makes work more meaningful for employees, builds the leader-follower relationship, and enhances trust. All these paths lead to greater engagement, productivity and performance.

Future focus. Effective leaders understand and articulate how today’s decisions and actions will impact the future. This ties into being able to explain the “why” behind today’s decisions, and “how” these actions will lead to desired outcomes.  When employees understand the meaningfulness of “why,” and  their role in “how,” a bond develops around the feeling that everyone is working toward the same goal.

What Separates Effective And Exceptional Leaders   

Although there are many factors and personality traits in play, my experience is that 100 percent of exceptional leaders enjoy the work and the responsibilities they shoulder. They are truly excited about their work and share their excitement with everyone they meet. Their energy is contagious and leads to high performing teams and organizations.

Unfortunately, the same contagion effect holds true for leaders who feel burdened by their role, or have burned out. As you might expect, a CEO I worked for nicknamed Eeyore (the gloomy donkey of “Winnie the Pooh”) was never able to sustain a strong organizational culture or performance despite being a good strategist. His negative energy poked through at just the wrong time, and weighed people and performance down.

What other leadership traits and behaviors do you find are needed to be an effective leader?

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, IL., and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. 

 

Oct 27

You’re A Leader, Now What?

Great news! Your hard work and persistence paid off and you just accepted a leadership position in a new (to you) organization.

Now what?

First, know that every company and team culture is different, so beware of trying a one-size-fits-all leadership style that either worked in the past, comes from the latest best-seller, or even my blogs. However, clients making this transition, and my own experience, have taught me there are at least five leadership behaviors that will get you off to a good start.

-Everything will line up perfectly when

Be authentic. Let your team get to know you. You should be more than a boss, less than a friend, and at all times a human being to your team. And, no one respects a phony.

Your team members represent you whenever they work with others on projects. When you effectively communicate your values, goals and decision-making processes, they are better equipped to act independently and make decisions you support. This also allows you to delegate more effectively, and build trust with your team.

Make time to get to know your team. Spend time in regularly scheduled one-to-one meeting with your direct reports. Ask questions and listen to them using the 80/20 rule. This means team members do 80 percent of the talking. Make these meetings your highest priority. Until and unless you know the strengths, weaknesses, aspirations, motives and temperament of your employees, you can’t unleash their full potential.

Trust your team. Now that you know your team, trust them to do their job. Let them show you what they can, or can’t, do. The best leaders maximize strengths and minimize weaknesses of their team members, and put them in position to be successful.

Be decisive.  In many cases, the position you are walking into has been vacant for several months, which means there are issues that need attention and action. After a period of onboarding and getting settled in, start making decisions. It can be a relief for a team that has been rudderless for a long time to finally see someone acting like they are in charge. Just make sure your one-up is onboard with any major decision you want to make.

Communicate.  You are building relationships, trust and making some decisions, now it is time to communicate your vision – over and over. Never assume your team knows what you know and vice versa. Set and re-set expectations, identify opportunities to improve processes, reward success, and learn from failure. The more you engage your team, the more likely they are to buy into your vision.

Bonus tip: Perhaps this is the hardest advice for leaders coming into a new organization. Bite your tongue whenever you want to say a variation of the phrase: “when I was at company X, we did … ” This comment is really more about puffing ourselves up (and it diminishes your current team) than solving a business problem. If you can manage this, you will reduce eye rolling by 86 percent in team meetings (my estimate).

You are only as successful as your team, so take the time and make the effort to treat them like the partners they truly are.

Need help with a career transition? Use the contact form below for a free, no obligation (I promise) Accelerated Coaching Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 20

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Incompetent Leaders Don’t Realize How Incompetent They Are

The Dunning–Kruger Effect (DKE) and how it impacts organizations would be funny, if its results were not so devastating.

In 1999, psychologists Justin Kruger and David Dunning published “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.” The duo examined the results of four studies that focused on people who tested in the bottom quartile for knowledge in specific domains, such as grammar. They noticed a subset of people who despite having little actual knowledge, self-rated as being well above average.

On the other hand, knowledgeable people tend to under value their expertise.

“The problem with incompetence is its

Dunning and Kruger concluded, and additional research has confirmed, this group of people lack enough knowledge to create an accurate frame of reference to judge their own ignorance. It is not a lack of overall intelligence, however, it is a lack of self awareness with a dash of too much ego.

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss

This type of ignorance is not bliss, especially in the workplace. DKE leaders who are experts in one area, such as finance, who believe they have the same expertise in human resources, IT or fundraising make large mistakes in fields they lack knowledge.

Even worse, DKE leaders are guilty of dual errors of judgment. In addition to giving themselves too much credit, research confirms DKE leaders rate knowledgeable people as less competent than themselves.

Thankfully, I have worked for only one textbook DKE leader. A newly minted vice president was put in charge of marketing (of which I was director) and several other departments without previous experience in those fields. However, he often bragged that he “took a class” in marketing, which made him a self-proclaimed marketing expert.

Since none of the experienced marketing people knew what we were doing, he quickly dismantled almost every marketing campaign. My weekly meetings with him were like scenes from “Groundhog Day.”  We covered the same topics and had the same discussions about next steps, and never came to any resolution because he couldn’t make a decision and wouldn’t let anyone else make one.

I quickly left and was followed by one of my managers. In the three years before he was removed, he never put a full marketing campaign into the market, and despite no visible measure of achievement, feels his time at the company was a great success.

Managing A DKE Leader

Fortunately, most DKE leaders are not put in charge of departments they have no experience with. They  are simply lobbing stones of ignorance to undermine other leaders and puff themselves up. However, if you get stuck with a clueless leader, there are several things you can do while you bide your time.

  • Get it writing. When you execute stupidity, you want to document where it came from
  • Do not try to educate a DKE leader. Since he thinks he knows more than you, he will not listen to your pearls of wisdom
  • Do not take any derogatory statements personally. He is, after all, ignorant
  • If you can, get out of Dodge

Need help with workplace relationships? Use the contact form below for a free, no obligation (I promise) Accelerated Coaching Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

 

Oct 14

The Best – And Worst Leadership Advice In One Sentence

The best, and worst, leadership advice given to me came in the form of a single sentence. It was delivered more than 20 years ago by the managing editor of a newspaper in California.

The comment resulted from a conversation I initiated concerning a colleague in the process of deciding whether to leave the paper. Her reasons for quitting were easy to address, and I went to bat for her because she was, and is, a very talented writer (who became a national best-selling author) who made the paper better. Plus, she served as an important mentor to several reporters, including myself.

After I finished pleading my case for action, he leaned back in his chair and said I should not concern myself with what decision she made because, “the paper will be printed and delivered tomorrow morning whether any of us quits or stays.”

The Good

Intentional or not, the statement’s wisdom is that no matter how important anyone thinks they are to an organization, it will not fall apart because one person leaves. This insight keeps me from getting “too big for my britches,” and is a reminder that no single person, regardless of title, is stands above the entire enterprise.

-the paper will be printed and delivered

The Bad

However, once I settled into my first leadership position, I learned that while the statement is true – it is dumb. The top priority for all leaders is to build, and sustain a great team. That means creating a positive culture, re-recruiting high performers, ensuring adequate education, and providing advancement opportunities.

When leaders, such as my former editor, infect a workplace with the attitude that employees are simply interchangeable cogs in a machine, it de-humanizes people.

The Ugly

Not surprisingly, one of the half-jokes in the newsroom was that reporters were going to be replaced by specially trained monkeys from Honduras (not sure why they were from Honduras). The culture resulted in poor productivity. It sank the point the managing editor created story quotas for news reporters.

Unsurprisingly, the quota system created a disincentive to work. Story length was not taken into account, so reporters who had beats that tended to result in short stories simply went home once they hit their quota because they were “done.” That aggravated many people, and added to the divisions and distractions already festering in the newsroom. The quota policy eventually faded away, but the damage was already done.

The Lesson

I have done my best to not emulate that editor. And if I could go back in time and respond, I would have said, “perhaps, but when you hire, value and support the right people, the product will be much better.”

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 8

You Know It’s Time For A New Job When…

A significant percentage of my coaching clients struggle with whether or not to stay in their current job or career. For people who are underpaid, overstressed, have a toxic boss or want to relocate for lifestyle reasons, the decision to move on usually comes easy.

However, many clients are paid well, enjoy certain aspects of their job, have developed friendships at work, or feel insecure about the future. These and other factors can create paralysis. Even when clients have a strong gut feeling the time is right to move on, they can remain in a state of inaction for years.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try

Below is a list of four signs the time may be right to commit to finding greener pastures.

Values gap. This occurs when there is a  misalignment between what you experience day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the more discomfort your experience. For example, if your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration and disengagement. (Tip: pick your top five values from this list and compare them to what is valued at work.)

Dead end. If you look at your supervisor and say, “I don’t want that job!” it is time to consider whether you are comfortable in your present position for the foreseeable future. If you want to move up, it may be time to prepare to do it elsewhere.

Another version of the dead end is that you find you are no longer challenged at work, and are on autopilot most of the time.  If your one-up is unable or unwilling to provide new challenges, it is a sign your are on the path to…

Boredom. In the workplace, boredom is defined a lack meaningful work to absorb your energy. It impacts people at all stages of their careers, from entry-level to executive positions. In addition, research suggests extroverts, high performers, and younger workers are at greater risk for boredom.

John Eastwood, Ph.D., one of the authors of “The Unengaged Mind,”  writes boredom is associated with a host of unwelcome effects such as increased drug and alcohol use, overeating, depression, anxiety, and poor performance.

Same time next year. When I lived in the corporate world, I took time out around my work anniversary to assess if I wanted to be working for the same people/company on my next anniversary. When I didn’t want to, I quietly began to take steps to find another position. If your stomach churns at the thought of one more year doing the same old – same old, determine why and either fix it, come to terms with it, or begin to move on.

If you are struggling in your current position, or want to clarify whether the time is right for you to move on from your current job, please contact me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 6

5 Ways You Can Quickly Boost Your Mood At Work

A bad mood not only makes you feel crummy, it drains energy and blocks creativity. It also makes it difficult to be fully present and engage with others in productive ways.

Down moods are often the result of locking onto a negative event or thought. Sometimes we needlessly create stress by anticipating worst-case scenarios for future events.

-Gratitude makes sense of our past, (1)

When I am feeling the funk, in a negative way, I have learned how to quickly move myself into a better state of mind. For me, the theme from the Banana Splits Adventure Hour, “The Tra La La Song,” is an instant mood enhancer. I can’t hear the song (especially its chorus) without singing out loud. It is slightly ridiculous, but it works for me.

You have more control over your mood than you may realize. In addition to listening to music that makes you feel good, there are other quick mood boosters you can use at the office.

Photographs. Research indicates looking at pictures is a bigger mood booster than eating chocolate. Load some of your favorite photos on your phone, an electronic picture frame, post a few in your cubicle or hang in your office. Then, take breaks and focus on those images of the people, places and things that bring you joy.

Move. Parking your posterior in a chair for hours on end is bad for your body and your mood. Instead of  grabbing a cup of coffee or heading to the vending machine for a package of Chuckles, walk around the office, take a short (or long) walk outside, use the stairs or stretch.  The goal is to get your heart pumping, and blood flowing with a dose of feel-good endorphins.

Vacation. Just thinking about your next vacation reduces stress. Whether you will escape to a warm beach in the depth of winter, spend time with far off loved ones, camp out under the stars, or hit the slopes, anticipating your next getaway will help you get through today.

Love. Shut down the computer, turn down the phone, close your eyes and bring to mind a few of your favorite things. You may want to focus on a meaningful event, such as when you met your significant other, held your child for the first time, or playtime with your pet. Gratefulness is a terrific way to reconnect to the best parts of yourself and your life, which can inoculate you from stress.

A coach can help you power through difficult times at work and create new opportunities for professionals and personal success.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Email me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free hour-long Power Session.

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