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Posts tagged ‘values’

Dec 16

Golden Handcuffs Restraining Your Career? Here’s What To Do

The term Golden Handcuffs slipped into the vernacular in the 1970s. It describes the retention efforts of employers to keep highly valued employees from jumping ship. Its definition initially referred to additional base pay, bonuses, benefits, stock options and other perks that made it next to impossible for wearers to escape their job.

Today, in the post-Great Recession period, the definition of Golden Handcuffs has grown significantly to include all workers who feel tethered to a job or career by student loan debt, a mortgage, the need to support a family or feeling trapped by a lack of opportunities.

Golden Handcuffs

Golden Handcuff Quiz

To gain awareness of whether you are wearing golden handcuffs, count the number of the statements below that describe your life.

  • I am not happy with my job, but enjoy my income and lifestyle.
  • I lack enthusiasm for my current job, but I am good at it.
  • I don’t care for my job, but I enjoy the relationships I have at work.
  • I have been here too long to be attractive to another organization or go into business for myself.
  • The chances of my finding a job that pays about the same are small.
  • Change is harder and riskier than doing nothing.
  • I don’t know how to start a job search.
  • Work takes all my emotional energy so I have none to look for a new job.

If you said, “yes” to none or one of the eight statements, you probably aren’t wearing Golden Handcuffs. If you agreed with two or more, you might be cuffed.

But, don’t rush to quit your job just yet. There are steps to take to determine your readiness to make a job or career change. Start by asking yourself the following questions.

What are my assumptions? Think you can’t live on less? Create a budget and look for spending that is unnecessary (satisfying wants and not needs). Don’t think you can change jobs or career due to pay issues? Check out the Bureau of Labor Statistics or this calculator. Don’t know who is hiring? There are more job boards than you may realize, and some are career specific. If you are a manager or executive recruiters definitely want to talk to you. Find them on LinkedIn, a web search or through your network.

What do I value? There are hundreds to choose from such as family, friends, travel, a larger home, honesty, integrity, time, love, health. Pick your top five values and write them down.

Am I living my values? Use a one to 10 scale with 10 being living your values fully, and pick the number that represents where you are today in living that value.

What actions can I take to align my values and my life? Depending on your values, you might ask for more flexibility in your work hours, repair a key relationship or take more time off.

If your answers are clear that you need to move onto a new job or career, create your action plan and shed the handcuffs that are holding you back from the life you deserve.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, Illinois, and specializes in leadership and life transition coaching.

Jul 25

Does Your Job Support Your Values? (It Should)

One of the most powerful questions you can ask is: does my job support my values?

Being tuned into your values and making conscious choices that support your values often goes overlooked and unexamined. We intuitively know our values are within us, but too few of us actually stop and take time to define them.

The list of values seems almost endless (http://bit.ly/1jWmeee), but most of us live our lives according to our top five to eight values.

Find Your Value Gaps   

Being aware of your values provides opportunities build on those strengths to accelerate you leadership skills and reach your personal and professional goals.

Being aware of your values provides opportunities build on those strengths to accelerate you leadership skills and reach your personal and professional goals.

  • Take five minutes to reflect and write down your values. It is okay if it is a long list
  • Notice which values are similar, and pick the one that best represents you
  • Choose your top eight values
  • Ask yourself whether your work, important relationships, and lifestyle are aligned with those eight values

This exercise brings many of my clients into greater self-awareness. Clients often discover many of the problem areas of their life are connected  to what I call a Values Gap. This is a  misalignment between what you experienced day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the less connected you feel to those parts of your life, and the more discomfort you feel when the gap is exposed.

If your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration, disengagement or straight forward disdain for your job or boss.

For example, I served as a mid-level leader in an organization where the boorish (and illegal) behavior of the CEO stood in direct opposition to its internal brand and mission. Instead of addressing poor behaviors and decisions, other members of the senior executive team dedicated significant energy and time doing damage control and workarounds.

Over time, I grew increasingly uncomfortable working for an erratic and unprofessional leader. I voted with my feet and found a new position in an organization with leaders who demonstrated values much closer to my own. In fact, one of the primary reasons I later became a coach was to be true to my values.

Once you know your key values, you can take actions that increase authenticity, physical and emotional well-being, and happiness. Being true to your values is being true to yourself, and is a necessary step on your journey to your personal and professional success.

Jun 23

Successful People Have A Confidence Habit

“And no one will listen to us until weBy Gregory Alford, MS. Psy.

Just as there are no born leaders, no one is born with confidence. It comes with experience and practice. As adults, we have experienced life events that made us feel confident. We may have helped our child with a life or school lesson, reached an important work goal, or finished a DIY project on your home.

While none of us feels confident all the time, cultivating confidence and living more confidently can improve our lives in many ways. A confident person feels comfortable within themselves. They live their values and beliefs and have respect for others and gratitude.

What Confidence Looks Like

  • Openness to new experience
  • Positive energy
  • Calm
  • Influential
  • Action oriented
  • Future focused

The other side of confidence is doubt. While doubt can be healthy, too much of it creates indecision. When we are indecisive, our progress falters and our goals slide out of reach. Doubt can stem from external sources such as negative people, or our own negative thoughts.

Sometimes, simply making decisions, even if they turn out to be incorrect, boost our confidence. Learn from the outcome of the decision and continue to move forward. Simply developing the habit of making decisions builds confidence by moving you from a state of inaction to action.

Also, take a few moments to visualize some of your past accomplishments that gave you confidence.

Finally, practice self care so you feel your best. Self care includes exercise, mediation, hobbies, volunteering and spending time with family and friends. These activities will recharge you and give you more energy to live with confidence.

 

Jun 23

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The Power of Acknowledgment

The Power of Acknowledgment

 By Gregory Alford, MS. Psy.

One of our deepest needs is to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, it’s a skill few people have. As a result, we don’t acknowledge others, or ourselves, very often. This is our loss. But it is a skill that can be learned!

When you acknowledge, you draw attention to something wonderful about a person. When done appropriately, it strengthens relationships and builds trust. It can be verbal, or written, and is often most appreciated when done publicly (especially at work).

Acknowledgment is…

  • Heartfelt
  • Occurs after action (ideally immediately)
  • Highlights good deeds
  • Encouragement

Recall a time when you received sincere acknowledgment and notice how good it still makes you feel. Now, recall when you completed a project there was no acknowledgment. Big difference – isn’t it? This is why behaviors we regularly acknowledge generally increase over time.

Self-Acknowledgement is also vital

Since so many people are unskilled acknowledging others, there are times when the kindest thing you can do is congratulate yourself.  This can help avoid disappointment, frustration or even anger that might follow times when your contributions or accomplishments go unrecognized.

Take a deep breath, let go of negative feelings and acknowledge yourself, out loud, several times if you want to! Then, acknowledge those who supported you. Top it off with a celebration of your choice.

So, your challenge today and everyday is to catch someone in the act of doing good and acknowledge them. You will discover it makes everyone’s day!

 

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