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Posts tagged ‘leadership coach’

Dec 16

Golden Handcuffs Restraining Your Career? Here’s What To Do

The term Golden Handcuffs slipped into the vernacular in the 1970s. It describes the retention efforts of employers to keep highly valued employees from jumping ship. Its definition initially referred to additional base pay, bonuses, benefits, stock options and other perks that made it next to impossible for wearers to escape their job.

Today, in the post-Great Recession period, the definition of Golden Handcuffs has grown significantly to include all workers who feel tethered to a job or career by student loan debt, a mortgage, the need to support a family or feeling trapped by a lack of opportunities.

Golden Handcuffs

Golden Handcuff Quiz

To gain awareness of whether you are wearing golden handcuffs, count the number of the statements below that describe your life.

  • I am not happy with my job, but enjoy my income and lifestyle.
  • I lack enthusiasm for my current job, but I am good at it.
  • I don’t care for my job, but I enjoy the relationships I have at work.
  • I have been here too long to be attractive to another organization or go into business for myself.
  • The chances of my finding a job that pays about the same are small.
  • Change is harder and riskier than doing nothing.
  • I don’t know how to start a job search.
  • Work takes all my emotional energy so I have none to look for a new job.

If you said, “yes” to none or one of the eight statements, you probably aren’t wearing Golden Handcuffs. If you agreed with two or more, you might be cuffed.

But, don’t rush to quit your job just yet. There are steps to take to determine your readiness to make a job or career change. Start by asking yourself the following questions.

What are my assumptions? Think you can’t live on less? Create a budget and look for spending that is unnecessary (satisfying wants and not needs). Don’t think you can change jobs or career due to pay issues? Check out the Bureau of Labor Statistics or this calculator. Don’t know who is hiring? There are more job boards than you may realize, and some are career specific. If you are a manager or executive recruiters definitely want to talk to you. Find them on LinkedIn, a web search or through your network.

What do I value? There are hundreds to choose from such as family, friends, travel, a larger home, honesty, integrity, time, love, health. Pick your top five values and write them down.

Am I living my values? Use a one to 10 scale with 10 being living your values fully, and pick the number that represents where you are today in living that value.

What actions can I take to align my values and my life? Depending on your values, you might ask for more flexibility in your work hours, repair a key relationship or take more time off.

If your answers are clear that you need to move onto a new job or career, create your action plan and shed the handcuffs that are holding you back from the life you deserve.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, Illinois, and specializes in leadership and life transition coaching.

Nov 18

‘Tis The Season To Be Stressed

Holiday parties, raised expectations for happiness, end-of-year work deadlines, travel, co-worker vacations, shopping excursions, fewer daylight hours, and additional child and school activities can add to our stress level. A poll of 600 full-time workers conducted by Accenture’s HR Services found 66 percent experience additional work stress during the holiday season.

The Time To Plan Is Now

By being proactive and thoughtful, we can manage seasonal stress in ways that reduce the pressure we feel, and increase our sense of well-being. The following are steps we can take to help make working during the holidays more enjoyable.

Prioritize. Put the most critical work projects at the top of your to-do list. Ask for clarification from your one-up if you are unsure what those are. Adjust or ask for permission to push back deadlines for lower priority projects.

Recognize that others may also be (6)

Communicate. Make sure people know when you are going to be out of the office (and ask co-workers for the same information). You can add those dates to your email signature, send an email to people who need to know your schedule and update your voice mail message. In addition, share who is covering for you in your absence.

Get flexible. Ask your supervisor to flex your schedule, or request days to work remotely. If neither is an option, then…

Take time off. If you are lucky enough to earn paid time off, use it! If you will need a day or even a week off to focus on shopping, family or to prepare for visitors – take it.

Exercise. Even if you don’t have time for a full workout, get physical. A short trip to the gym is better than none. Dust off your exercise machine and use it. Take a brisk walk or use the stairs at the office. Exercise is nature’s mood booster, and it also helps you…

Sleep. It’s not just children who are cranky when they are sleepy and need a nap. Since napping options are non-existent in most workplaces, it is vital to not skimp on sleep.

You have a right not to party. Go to the office parties where you are expected (you know which ones those are), and skip the rest while thanking hosts for the invitation.

Put down the cake, pies, cookies, egg nog and other goodies. Avoid the post-party or pot-luck food coma by eating a piece of fruit, a handful of nuts, or drinking a glass of water before heading into temptation.

And, perhaps the most important tip.

Be understanding. Recognize that others may also be struggling with the extra demands of the holiday season. Be compassionate to others, and yourself.

Happy holidays!

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Nov 4

(Almost) Anyone Can Become A Leader

Dig into a simple question, such as “what is leadership?” and you will soon be chin deep in a sea of academic papers, books, and contradictory opinions.

Fortunately, I didn’t drown. After 20 years of reading and 30 years of working, I believe the foundation of good leadership is not complicated. However, it can prove elusive to master, and not everyone is cut out for it.

(Almost) Anyone Can Become A Leader

Fortunately, elements of leadership can be learned, and some research points to three specific qualities that are foundational for leader effectiveness. These three qualities have proven to be important in my leadership journey, as well as leaders I have worked with through the years.

Confidence. When a leader has the confidence to take action, it definitely speaks volumes to your followers, peers and supervisor. Confidence is not hubris. It doesn’t imply a leader has all the answers. Instead, leaders assess available options, take appropriate risks, make decisions, and accept responsibility for how their decisions impact their team and the organization.

Confident leaders are far more likely to have an optimistic vision of the present and future. When employees buy into a leader’s positive expectations, they become engaged in a common vision. Their enthusiasm and energy generates action and momentum that sustains gains in performance.

End of the road. Nothing to do, and no

Altruism. An effective leader uses their personal and positional power to benefit others. These leaders manage their teams up in public and private, as well as serve as a mentor. Research is clear that recognition and praise makes work more meaningful for employees, builds the leader-follower relationship, and enhances trust. All these paths lead to greater engagement, productivity and performance.

Future focus. Effective leaders understand and articulate how today’s decisions and actions will impact the future. This ties into being able to explain the “why” behind today’s decisions, and “how” these actions will lead to desired outcomes.  When employees understand the meaningfulness of “why,” and  their role in “how,” a bond develops around the feeling that everyone is working toward the same goal.

What Separates Effective And Exceptional Leaders   

Although there are many factors and personality traits in play, my experience is that 100 percent of exceptional leaders enjoy the work and the responsibilities they shoulder. They are truly excited about their work and share their excitement with everyone they meet. Their energy is contagious and leads to high performing teams and organizations.

Unfortunately, the same contagion effect holds true for leaders who feel burdened by their role, or have burned out. As you might expect, a CEO I worked for nicknamed Eeyore (the gloomy donkey of “Winnie the Pooh”) was never able to sustain a strong organizational culture or performance despite being a good strategist. His negative energy poked through at just the wrong time, and weighed people and performance down.

What other leadership traits and behaviors do you find are needed to be an effective leader?

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, IL., and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. 

 

Oct 27

You’re A Leader, Now What?

Great news! Your hard work and persistence paid off and you just accepted a leadership position in a new (to you) organization.

Now what?

First, know that every company and team culture is different, so beware of trying a one-size-fits-all leadership style that either worked in the past, comes from the latest best-seller, or even my blogs. However, clients making this transition, and my own experience, have taught me there are at least five leadership behaviors that will get you off to a good start.

-Everything will line up perfectly when

Be authentic. Let your team get to know you. You should be more than a boss, less than a friend, and at all times a human being to your team. And, no one respects a phony.

Your team members represent you whenever they work with others on projects. When you effectively communicate your values, goals and decision-making processes, they are better equipped to act independently and make decisions you support. This also allows you to delegate more effectively, and build trust with your team.

Make time to get to know your team. Spend time in regularly scheduled one-to-one meeting with your direct reports. Ask questions and listen to them using the 80/20 rule. This means team members do 80 percent of the talking. Make these meetings your highest priority. Until and unless you know the strengths, weaknesses, aspirations, motives and temperament of your employees, you can’t unleash their full potential.

Trust your team. Now that you know your team, trust them to do their job. Let them show you what they can, or can’t, do. The best leaders maximize strengths and minimize weaknesses of their team members, and put them in position to be successful.

Be decisive.  In many cases, the position you are walking into has been vacant for several months, which means there are issues that need attention and action. After a period of onboarding and getting settled in, start making decisions. It can be a relief for a team that has been rudderless for a long time to finally see someone acting like they are in charge. Just make sure your one-up is onboard with any major decision you want to make.

Communicate.  You are building relationships, trust and making some decisions, now it is time to communicate your vision – over and over. Never assume your team knows what you know and vice versa. Set and re-set expectations, identify opportunities to improve processes, reward success, and learn from failure. The more you engage your team, the more likely they are to buy into your vision.

Bonus tip: Perhaps this is the hardest advice for leaders coming into a new organization. Bite your tongue whenever you want to say a variation of the phrase: “when I was at company X, we did … ” This comment is really more about puffing ourselves up (and it diminishes your current team) than solving a business problem. If you can manage this, you will reduce eye rolling by 86 percent in team meetings (my estimate).

You are only as successful as your team, so take the time and make the effort to treat them like the partners they truly are.

Need help with a career transition? Use the contact form below for a free, no obligation (I promise) Accelerated Coaching Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 20

2 Comments

Incompetent Leaders Don’t Realize How Incompetent They Are

The Dunning–Kruger Effect (DKE) and how it impacts organizations would be funny, if its results were not so devastating.

In 1999, psychologists Justin Kruger and David Dunning published “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.” The duo examined the results of four studies that focused on people who tested in the bottom quartile for knowledge in specific domains, such as grammar. They noticed a subset of people who despite having little actual knowledge, self-rated as being well above average.

On the other hand, knowledgeable people tend to under value their expertise.

“The problem with incompetence is its

Dunning and Kruger concluded, and additional research has confirmed, this group of people lack enough knowledge to create an accurate frame of reference to judge their own ignorance. It is not a lack of overall intelligence, however, it is a lack of self awareness with a dash of too much ego.

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss

This type of ignorance is not bliss, especially in the workplace. DKE leaders who are experts in one area, such as finance, who believe they have the same expertise in human resources, IT or fundraising make large mistakes in fields they lack knowledge.

Even worse, DKE leaders are guilty of dual errors of judgment. In addition to giving themselves too much credit, research confirms DKE leaders rate knowledgeable people as less competent than themselves.

Thankfully, I have worked for only one textbook DKE leader. A newly minted vice president was put in charge of marketing (of which I was director) and several other departments without previous experience in those fields. However, he often bragged that he “took a class” in marketing, which made him a self-proclaimed marketing expert.

Since none of the experienced marketing people knew what we were doing, he quickly dismantled almost every marketing campaign. My weekly meetings with him were like scenes from “Groundhog Day.”  We covered the same topics and had the same discussions about next steps, and never came to any resolution because he couldn’t make a decision and wouldn’t let anyone else make one.

I quickly left and was followed by one of my managers. In the three years before he was removed, he never put a full marketing campaign into the market, and despite no visible measure of achievement, feels his time at the company was a great success.

Managing A DKE Leader

Fortunately, most DKE leaders are not put in charge of departments they have no experience with. They  are simply lobbing stones of ignorance to undermine other leaders and puff themselves up. However, if you get stuck with a clueless leader, there are several things you can do while you bide your time.

  • Get it writing. When you execute stupidity, you want to document where it came from
  • Do not try to educate a DKE leader. Since he thinks he knows more than you, he will not listen to your pearls of wisdom
  • Do not take any derogatory statements personally. He is, after all, ignorant
  • If you can, get out of Dodge

Need help with workplace relationships? Use the contact form below for a free, no obligation (I promise) Accelerated Coaching Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

 

Oct 14

The Best – And Worst Leadership Advice In One Sentence

The best, and worst, leadership advice given to me came in the form of a single sentence. It was delivered more than 20 years ago by the managing editor of a newspaper in California.

The comment resulted from a conversation I initiated concerning a colleague in the process of deciding whether to leave the paper. Her reasons for quitting were easy to address, and I went to bat for her because she was, and is, a very talented writer (who became a national best-selling author) who made the paper better. Plus, she served as an important mentor to several reporters, including myself.

After I finished pleading my case for action, he leaned back in his chair and said I should not concern myself with what decision she made because, “the paper will be printed and delivered tomorrow morning whether any of us quits or stays.”

The Good

Intentional or not, the statement’s wisdom is that no matter how important anyone thinks they are to an organization, it will not fall apart because one person leaves. This insight keeps me from getting “too big for my britches,” and is a reminder that no single person, regardless of title, is stands above the entire enterprise.

-the paper will be printed and delivered

The Bad

However, once I settled into my first leadership position, I learned that while the statement is true – it is dumb. The top priority for all leaders is to build, and sustain a great team. That means creating a positive culture, re-recruiting high performers, ensuring adequate education, and providing advancement opportunities.

When leaders, such as my former editor, infect a workplace with the attitude that employees are simply interchangeable cogs in a machine, it de-humanizes people.

The Ugly

Not surprisingly, one of the half-jokes in the newsroom was that reporters were going to be replaced by specially trained monkeys from Honduras (not sure why they were from Honduras). The culture resulted in poor productivity. It sank the point the managing editor created story quotas for news reporters.

Unsurprisingly, the quota system created a disincentive to work. Story length was not taken into account, so reporters who had beats that tended to result in short stories simply went home once they hit their quota because they were “done.” That aggravated many people, and added to the divisions and distractions already festering in the newsroom. The quota policy eventually faded away, but the damage was already done.

The Lesson

I have done my best to not emulate that editor. And if I could go back in time and respond, I would have said, “perhaps, but when you hire, value and support the right people, the product will be much better.”

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 8

You Know It’s Time For A New Job When…

A significant percentage of my coaching clients struggle with whether or not to stay in their current job or career. For people who are underpaid, overstressed, have a toxic boss or want to relocate for lifestyle reasons, the decision to move on usually comes easy.

However, many clients are paid well, enjoy certain aspects of their job, have developed friendships at work, or feel insecure about the future. These and other factors can create paralysis. Even when clients have a strong gut feeling the time is right to move on, they can remain in a state of inaction for years.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try

Below is a list of four signs the time may be right to commit to finding greener pastures.

Values gap. This occurs when there is a  misalignment between what you experience day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the more discomfort your experience. For example, if your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration and disengagement. (Tip: pick your top five values from this list and compare them to what is valued at work.)

Dead end. If you look at your supervisor and say, “I don’t want that job!” it is time to consider whether you are comfortable in your present position for the foreseeable future. If you want to move up, it may be time to prepare to do it elsewhere.

Another version of the dead end is that you find you are no longer challenged at work, and are on autopilot most of the time.  If your one-up is unable or unwilling to provide new challenges, it is a sign your are on the path to…

Boredom. In the workplace, boredom is defined a lack meaningful work to absorb your energy. It impacts people at all stages of their careers, from entry-level to executive positions. In addition, research suggests extroverts, high performers, and younger workers are at greater risk for boredom.

John Eastwood, Ph.D., one of the authors of “The Unengaged Mind,”  writes boredom is associated with a host of unwelcome effects such as increased drug and alcohol use, overeating, depression, anxiety, and poor performance.

Same time next year. When I lived in the corporate world, I took time out around my work anniversary to assess if I wanted to be working for the same people/company on my next anniversary. When I didn’t want to, I quietly began to take steps to find another position. If your stomach churns at the thought of one more year doing the same old – same old, determine why and either fix it, come to terms with it, or begin to move on.

If you are struggling in your current position, or want to clarify whether the time is right for you to move on from your current job, please contact me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 6

5 Ways You Can Quickly Boost Your Mood At Work

A bad mood not only makes you feel crummy, it drains energy and blocks creativity. It also makes it difficult to be fully present and engage with others in productive ways.

Down moods are often the result of locking onto a negative event or thought. Sometimes we needlessly create stress by anticipating worst-case scenarios for future events.

-Gratitude makes sense of our past, (1)

When I am feeling the funk, in a negative way, I have learned how to quickly move myself into a better state of mind. For me, the theme from the Banana Splits Adventure Hour, “The Tra La La Song,” is an instant mood enhancer. I can’t hear the song (especially its chorus) without singing out loud. It is slightly ridiculous, but it works for me.

You have more control over your mood than you may realize. In addition to listening to music that makes you feel good, there are other quick mood boosters you can use at the office.

Photographs. Research indicates looking at pictures is a bigger mood booster than eating chocolate. Load some of your favorite photos on your phone, an electronic picture frame, post a few in your cubicle or hang in your office. Then, take breaks and focus on those images of the people, places and things that bring you joy.

Move. Parking your posterior in a chair for hours on end is bad for your body and your mood. Instead of  grabbing a cup of coffee or heading to the vending machine for a package of Chuckles, walk around the office, take a short (or long) walk outside, use the stairs or stretch.  The goal is to get your heart pumping, and blood flowing with a dose of feel-good endorphins.

Vacation. Just thinking about your next vacation reduces stress. Whether you will escape to a warm beach in the depth of winter, spend time with far off loved ones, camp out under the stars, or hit the slopes, anticipating your next getaway will help you get through today.

Love. Shut down the computer, turn down the phone, close your eyes and bring to mind a few of your favorite things. You may want to focus on a meaningful event, such as when you met your significant other, held your child for the first time, or playtime with your pet. Gratefulness is a terrific way to reconnect to the best parts of yourself and your life, which can inoculate you from stress.

A coach can help you power through difficult times at work and create new opportunities for professionals and personal success.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Email me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free hour-long Power Session.

Sep 29

6 Ways To Deal With A Narcissist Leader

There seems to be at least one narcissist leader in every leadership group. In short, a narcissist leader is a person with an unrealistic or inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, unable to see others’ perspectives, and is hypersensitive to what they perceive as criticism. For the official American Psychological Association definition, click here.

When the narcissist is the CEO or they are peppered through the ranks of leaders the culture is going to be much harder to manage. If that describes your workplace, you are excused from reading the rest of this column, because you need to quit as soon as you possibly can.

From Tolerable to Toxic59ee4e7eba7ca4a9c4eb3eb8938b2066

Narcissists often make very good leaders – for a while. When the good times are rolling, they can be easy going and charming. However, when the accolades dry up, they begin to feel challenged or threatened.

I once worked for a senior leader who pitched a screaming fit about twice a year when she wasn’t getting her way with a peer or team member. We never knew when it was coming, but the message was always a variation of “it’s your fault I am not reaching my goals.”

At this point a leader is toxic. Instead of accepting responsibility when a project fails to perform as anticipated, he will blame and then sacrifice followers as necessary to protect his self-image and position in the company. Trust among team members in the leader then evaporates and people become very task oriented in an effort to keep their heads down and not be noticed.

The Need for Loyalty

Many narcissist leaders are more concerned with how they present themselves than their actual effectiveness. When they feel others are turning on them (by “making them look bad”), they begin to demand loyalty. If someone has to ask or demand loyalty, they don’t deserve it.

I worked for a senior executive who pulled his direct reports into his office on a regular basis and asked us to help him “get the goods” on the current target of his ire. If you didn’t appear to be interested in helping him gain revenge by ruining someone else’s career, he took it as a sign you were not loyal. Needless to say, many “non-loyal” people simply “disappeared” from work.

What To Do

This list will help you, for a time, make peace with a narcissist leader.

  • Set your expectations low
  • Make them look good
  • Don’t demand or expect credit
  • Whatever hurtful thing is done or said, remember that it is not about you
  • Don’t give negative feedback – even (and especially) when asked
  • Line up a new position

If you need help managing a narcissist leader, please reach out to me via my website to schedule a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Learn more at http://acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com

Sep 16

Yoda – Leadership Guru

Yoda’s advice for wannabe Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker was, “Do or do not. There is no try.” This advice also holds true for mere mortals.

What Yoda shared with Luke is the need for commitment. An excellent definition comes from MacMillan, which states: enthusiasm for something and a determination to work hard at it.

-Do or do not. There is no try.-The key words are enthusiasm and determination. Too often we say we are committed to a goal, relationship or activity when we lack one or both of those ingredients. Without them we are simply trying to reach a goal, make a relationship work or complete an activity.

As Yoda says, “there is no try,” because without commitment success eludes us.

Try is a word that has failure baked into it. “Well, I tried,” is what we tell ourselves and others when we give up on a goal. When we try, it is easy to become distracted, unfocused and procrastinate. Self-doubt creeps in and begins to drain our confidence, energy and willingness to push through roadblocks. And we may start to look for scapegoats rather than push ourselves.

Fear Factor

One reason we end up trying instead of committing is fear. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule or fear that you will prove the doubters right.

When I work with leaders who are trying instead of committing is explore what is holding them back. Many times, it is a hidden inner belief they are not skilled enough, smart enough or deserving enough to achieve what they desire.

If that is the case, I ask clients to share some success stories, and how they felt after reaching a particularly difficult goal. This helps shift the focus to positive outcomes and emotions. Then, the conversation moves to what action steps they took and whether those steps be replicated in the current situation.

Ready, Set, Go!

Regardless of the reasons people get stuck in a trying mindset, there is only one solution, as Yoda says, “do or not do.” Once there is a commitment or re-commitment (Yoda’s “do”) to a goal, a plan of action needs to be created and then carried out. It can be uncomfortable, difficult and nerve wracking, but once we move into a state of action, doubts begin to fade. With each successful action step, we move  a little closer to the final goal. Confidence returns and enthusiasm builds as obstacles are overcome. When the goal is reached, make sure to take time out to celebrate.

If you need help moving from trying to committing, please reach out to me to schedule a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

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