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Posts tagged ‘change’

Dec 16

Golden Handcuffs Restraining Your Career? Here’s What To Do

The term Golden Handcuffs slipped into the vernacular in the 1970s. It describes the retention efforts of employers to keep highly valued employees from jumping ship. Its definition initially referred to additional base pay, bonuses, benefits, stock options and other perks that made it next to impossible for wearers to escape their job.

Today, in the post-Great Recession period, the definition of Golden Handcuffs has grown significantly to include all workers who feel tethered to a job or career by student loan debt, a mortgage, the need to support a family or feeling trapped by a lack of opportunities.

Golden Handcuffs

Golden Handcuff Quiz

To gain awareness of whether you are wearing golden handcuffs, count the number of the statements below that describe your life.

  • I am not happy with my job, but enjoy my income and lifestyle.
  • I lack enthusiasm for my current job, but I am good at it.
  • I don’t care for my job, but I enjoy the relationships I have at work.
  • I have been here too long to be attractive to another organization or go into business for myself.
  • The chances of my finding a job that pays about the same are small.
  • Change is harder and riskier than doing nothing.
  • I don’t know how to start a job search.
  • Work takes all my emotional energy so I have none to look for a new job.

If you said, “yes” to none or one of the eight statements, you probably aren’t wearing Golden Handcuffs. If you agreed with two or more, you might be cuffed.

But, don’t rush to quit your job just yet. There are steps to take to determine your readiness to make a job or career change. Start by asking yourself the following questions.

What are my assumptions? Think you can’t live on less? Create a budget and look for spending that is unnecessary (satisfying wants and not needs). Don’t think you can change jobs or career due to pay issues? Check out the Bureau of Labor Statistics or this calculator. Don’t know who is hiring? There are more job boards than you may realize, and some are career specific. If you are a manager or executive recruiters definitely want to talk to you. Find them on LinkedIn, a web search or through your network.

What do I value? There are hundreds to choose from such as family, friends, travel, a larger home, honesty, integrity, time, love, health. Pick your top five values and write them down.

Am I living my values? Use a one to 10 scale with 10 being living your values fully, and pick the number that represents where you are today in living that value.

What actions can I take to align my values and my life? Depending on your values, you might ask for more flexibility in your work hours, repair a key relationship or take more time off.

If your answers are clear that you need to move onto a new job or career, create your action plan and shed the handcuffs that are holding you back from the life you deserve.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, Illinois, and specializes in leadership and life transition coaching.

Nov 24

Bully Bosses Are Easy To Spot But Hard To Stop  

Bullies are not just a problem in schools, playgrounds or cyberspace. They are also a common presence at work. And when the bully is a boss, careers, teams and organizations can be ruined.

According to a 2014 Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) survey, 72 percent of adult Americans are aware that bullying has or is taking place at their workplace. Twenty-seven percent report they have been or are currently being bullied on the job.

The WBI defines workplace bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators.” Bully behaviors are:Simple peck-order bullying is only the

  • Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or
  • Sabotage that prevents work from getting done, or
  • Verbal abuse

In the workplace, sexual harassment is one of the very few bullying behaviors that is illegal. It is not unusual for companies to lack policies that define workplace bullying behaviors, which makes it difficult for victims to find support.

Why Be A Bully?

What often drives bully boss behavior is the need to control or manipulate people and situations to preserve their ego and status at work. They are also jealous of others’ success, and demand credit for others’ accomplishments.

The stereotypical bully boss creates fear with public tantrums, diatribes, criticism and harassment. However, most are less predictable about who, how, and when they conduct campaigns of intimidation. Some alternate between “good” and  “bad” days. On “good” days, they can be charming and professional. On “bad” days, no one is safe – especially one of their targets. In these offices an informal network develops with the sole purpose of warning co-workers when the boss is having one of his “bad” days.

Passive aggressive behaviors sometimes give away bully bosses. I have watched bully bosses allow projects to proceed only to step in once they are underway and reverse course. This allows the bully to control a project without having to participate in its development (which is beneath them), and publicly place blame for the failure on the target for, in essence, not reading the bully’s mind.

Another classic passive-aggressive behavior is being chronically late. This is one way the bully boss lets others know who is in control of the meeting, as well as a reminder of the organizational pecking order (i.e., whatever I was doing earlier is more important than this, and, you can’t do anything without me).

What Can You Do?

Go to Human Resources. According to the WBI survey, 82 percent of bully bosses keep their jobs. As a result, this tactic can lead to retaliation as the bully tries to convince HR you have an attitude or performance problem (and is often successful).

Find a buffer. If you have a supervisor between you and the bully, use them as a shield to minimize your contact with the bully.

Don’t Respond In The Moment. When you are being verbally attacked, let your bully know that you appreciate their input and will get back to him after you have time to consider what he shared.

Update your CV. Odds are very good your boss bully will never be called out on his behavior, so be prepared to either transfer to another department or find employment elsewhere.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Nov 4

(Almost) Anyone Can Become A Leader

Dig into a simple question, such as “what is leadership?” and you will soon be chin deep in a sea of academic papers, books, and contradictory opinions.

Fortunately, I didn’t drown. After 20 years of reading and 30 years of working, I believe the foundation of good leadership is not complicated. However, it can prove elusive to master, and not everyone is cut out for it.

(Almost) Anyone Can Become A Leader

Fortunately, elements of leadership can be learned, and some research points to three specific qualities that are foundational for leader effectiveness. These three qualities have proven to be important in my leadership journey, as well as leaders I have worked with through the years.

Confidence. When a leader has the confidence to take action, it definitely speaks volumes to your followers, peers and supervisor. Confidence is not hubris. It doesn’t imply a leader has all the answers. Instead, leaders assess available options, take appropriate risks, make decisions, and accept responsibility for how their decisions impact their team and the organization.

Confident leaders are far more likely to have an optimistic vision of the present and future. When employees buy into a leader’s positive expectations, they become engaged in a common vision. Their enthusiasm and energy generates action and momentum that sustains gains in performance.

End of the road. Nothing to do, and no

Altruism. An effective leader uses their personal and positional power to benefit others. These leaders manage their teams up in public and private, as well as serve as a mentor. Research is clear that recognition and praise makes work more meaningful for employees, builds the leader-follower relationship, and enhances trust. All these paths lead to greater engagement, productivity and performance.

Future focus. Effective leaders understand and articulate how today’s decisions and actions will impact the future. This ties into being able to explain the “why” behind today’s decisions, and “how” these actions will lead to desired outcomes.  When employees understand the meaningfulness of “why,” and  their role in “how,” a bond develops around the feeling that everyone is working toward the same goal.

What Separates Effective And Exceptional Leaders   

Although there are many factors and personality traits in play, my experience is that 100 percent of exceptional leaders enjoy the work and the responsibilities they shoulder. They are truly excited about their work and share their excitement with everyone they meet. Their energy is contagious and leads to high performing teams and organizations.

Unfortunately, the same contagion effect holds true for leaders who feel burdened by their role, or have burned out. As you might expect, a CEO I worked for nicknamed Eeyore (the gloomy donkey of “Winnie the Pooh”) was never able to sustain a strong organizational culture or performance despite being a good strategist. His negative energy poked through at just the wrong time, and weighed people and performance down.

What other leadership traits and behaviors do you find are needed to be an effective leader?

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC in Naperville, IL., and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. 

 

Oct 27

You’re A Leader, Now What?

Great news! Your hard work and persistence paid off and you just accepted a leadership position in a new (to you) organization.

Now what?

First, know that every company and team culture is different, so beware of trying a one-size-fits-all leadership style that either worked in the past, comes from the latest best-seller, or even my blogs. However, clients making this transition, and my own experience, have taught me there are at least five leadership behaviors that will get you off to a good start.

-Everything will line up perfectly when

Be authentic. Let your team get to know you. You should be more than a boss, less than a friend, and at all times a human being to your team. And, no one respects a phony.

Your team members represent you whenever they work with others on projects. When you effectively communicate your values, goals and decision-making processes, they are better equipped to act independently and make decisions you support. This also allows you to delegate more effectively, and build trust with your team.

Make time to get to know your team. Spend time in regularly scheduled one-to-one meeting with your direct reports. Ask questions and listen to them using the 80/20 rule. This means team members do 80 percent of the talking. Make these meetings your highest priority. Until and unless you know the strengths, weaknesses, aspirations, motives and temperament of your employees, you can’t unleash their full potential.

Trust your team. Now that you know your team, trust them to do their job. Let them show you what they can, or can’t, do. The best leaders maximize strengths and minimize weaknesses of their team members, and put them in position to be successful.

Be decisive.  In many cases, the position you are walking into has been vacant for several months, which means there are issues that need attention and action. After a period of onboarding and getting settled in, start making decisions. It can be a relief for a team that has been rudderless for a long time to finally see someone acting like they are in charge. Just make sure your one-up is onboard with any major decision you want to make.

Communicate.  You are building relationships, trust and making some decisions, now it is time to communicate your vision – over and over. Never assume your team knows what you know and vice versa. Set and re-set expectations, identify opportunities to improve processes, reward success, and learn from failure. The more you engage your team, the more likely they are to buy into your vision.

Bonus tip: Perhaps this is the hardest advice for leaders coming into a new organization. Bite your tongue whenever you want to say a variation of the phrase: “when I was at company X, we did … ” This comment is really more about puffing ourselves up (and it diminishes your current team) than solving a business problem. If you can manage this, you will reduce eye rolling by 86 percent in team meetings (my estimate).

You are only as successful as your team, so take the time and make the effort to treat them like the partners they truly are.

Need help with a career transition? Use the contact form below for a free, no obligation (I promise) Accelerated Coaching Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 8

You Know It’s Time For A New Job When…

A significant percentage of my coaching clients struggle with whether or not to stay in their current job or career. For people who are underpaid, overstressed, have a toxic boss or want to relocate for lifestyle reasons, the decision to move on usually comes easy.

However, many clients are paid well, enjoy certain aspects of their job, have developed friendships at work, or feel insecure about the future. These and other factors can create paralysis. Even when clients have a strong gut feeling the time is right to move on, they can remain in a state of inaction for years.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try

Below is a list of four signs the time may be right to commit to finding greener pastures.

Values gap. This occurs when there is a  misalignment between what you experience day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the more discomfort your experience. For example, if your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration and disengagement. (Tip: pick your top five values from this list and compare them to what is valued at work.)

Dead end. If you look at your supervisor and say, “I don’t want that job!” it is time to consider whether you are comfortable in your present position for the foreseeable future. If you want to move up, it may be time to prepare to do it elsewhere.

Another version of the dead end is that you find you are no longer challenged at work, and are on autopilot most of the time.  If your one-up is unable or unwilling to provide new challenges, it is a sign your are on the path to…

Boredom. In the workplace, boredom is defined a lack meaningful work to absorb your energy. It impacts people at all stages of their careers, from entry-level to executive positions. In addition, research suggests extroverts, high performers, and younger workers are at greater risk for boredom.

John Eastwood, Ph.D., one of the authors of “The Unengaged Mind,”  writes boredom is associated with a host of unwelcome effects such as increased drug and alcohol use, overeating, depression, anxiety, and poor performance.

Same time next year. When I lived in the corporate world, I took time out around my work anniversary to assess if I wanted to be working for the same people/company on my next anniversary. When I didn’t want to, I quietly began to take steps to find another position. If your stomach churns at the thought of one more year doing the same old – same old, determine why and either fix it, come to terms with it, or begin to move on.

If you are struggling in your current position, or want to clarify whether the time is right for you to move on from your current job, please contact me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Sep 12

Are You Stuck?

Many people seek a coach when they feel stuck in a job, a specific work role, or a relationship. The first step in the coaching process is to help people clarify their goals. But fear, doubt and other negative emotions can block people from taking action to reach those goals.

Striving for something better is scary because the status quo is known and provides some level of emotional comfort and security. However, almost nothing good in life happens until we take action. You have to apply for a job before you can hope to be hired. When you want a promotion, you have to step up and ask for or accept new responsibilities. When you want to go on a date with someone, you have to either make or accept an invitation.

-There is no happiness without action.- (1)Action can be scary. In my early 20s, I wanted a better career and knew a college degree would make it happen. I was a poor student in high school, and didn’t know if I could handle college coursework. But, I swallowed hard and enrolled.

Sitting in my first class (Journalism 101), my stomach churned, knees knocked and heart pounded so hard I could barely hear the instructor. But, I lived to tell the tale, and eventually earned a Master of Science degree in Psychology. My education opened doors I never would have known existed  — if I had given into my fear and not taken action.

Take a look around your workplace and notice those people who are unhappy with their career. They are easy to find, just try to ignore someone who expresses their unhappiness every day. These co-workers exert more energy complaining about being stuck than it takes to make positive change. Still, they make a choice each day to remain in a state of inaction.

As a coach, I help people create a plan, break it into small manageable pieces, and build supportive structures. The first action is usually the most difficult. Experience has taught me that when people take the first step toward their goal, the next steps are a little easier. With each step forward, confidence grows as action becomes the new norm and people begin to feel “unstuck.”

It is a privilege to follow the progress of my clients as they take action and rebalance their lives, build stronger relationships, grab that promotion or find a better job. In each case, success was the result of their willingness to take the action necessary to reach their goals and dreams.

If you are feeling stuck, please reach out to me via LinkedIn or my website for a free Power Session.

Aug 7

Why You Need A Coach On Your Career Team

First, the good news. It is now commonplace for C-Suite residents to be provided an executive coach to help them navigate the high altitude world they inhabit.

Now, the not-so-good news. If you do not have a ‘C’ in front of your title, you are probably on your own when it comes to career development. This is not good business, but it is reality for most mid- to upper-level managers.

Finally, the best news. You can make a modest investment and rediscover your strengths, passions, areas of opportunity, and action plans to develop new skills that can give your career the boost it needs.

What Is Coaching?

Leadership and other coaches combine many of the best concepts from management theory, psychology, philosophy, sports and spirituality to facilitate positive life changes. Although there is some similarity, coaching is not therapy, mentoring or consulting. It is a strengths-based approach that empowers you to use your energy and insights to propel your life to new heights.

What A Coach Can Help You With

Leadership, career transition and life coaching are three popular types of coaching, although there are many others. Many people come into leadership coaching to address issues such as how to:

Becoming a leader is synonymous with

  • Clarify your career goals
  • Manage difficult relationships
  • Manage conflict
  • Become a better leader
  • Enhance work/life balance
  • Decide whether to change careers

What to Expect

Coaching sessions are values-based, goal-oriented, and focus on today and the future. Coaches realize that everyone has the ability to increase professional effectiveness and personal happiness. To find the right path for your success, a good coach:

  • Listens without judgment
  • Asks powerful questions
  • Investigates your underlying beliefs
  • Helps you clarify your values
  • Partners to help you develop action plans
  • Provides support and encouragement

It’s your career. Adding a coach to your career team can help you discover what is holding you back and how to move forward. You can gain insight into how others see you, how you see yourself and discover how to unlock your unique strengths to become a better leader.

If you would like to schedule a free 50-minute one-to-one phone call to discuss whether you would benefit from having a coach on your career development team, please call me at 815.985.4229 or fill out the contact for below.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and consulting.

 

Jul 25

Does Your Job Support Your Values? (It Should)

One of the most powerful questions you can ask is: does my job support my values?

Being tuned into your values and making conscious choices that support your values often goes overlooked and unexamined. We intuitively know our values are within us, but too few of us actually stop and take time to define them.

The list of values seems almost endless (http://bit.ly/1jWmeee), but most of us live our lives according to our top five to eight values.

Find Your Value Gaps   

Being aware of your values provides opportunities build on those strengths to accelerate you leadership skills and reach your personal and professional goals.

Being aware of your values provides opportunities build on those strengths to accelerate you leadership skills and reach your personal and professional goals.

  • Take five minutes to reflect and write down your values. It is okay if it is a long list
  • Notice which values are similar, and pick the one that best represents you
  • Choose your top eight values
  • Ask yourself whether your work, important relationships, and lifestyle are aligned with those eight values

This exercise brings many of my clients into greater self-awareness. Clients often discover many of the problem areas of their life are connected  to what I call a Values Gap. This is a  misalignment between what you experienced day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the less connected you feel to those parts of your life, and the more discomfort you feel when the gap is exposed.

If your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration, disengagement or straight forward disdain for your job or boss.

For example, I served as a mid-level leader in an organization where the boorish (and illegal) behavior of the CEO stood in direct opposition to its internal brand and mission. Instead of addressing poor behaviors and decisions, other members of the senior executive team dedicated significant energy and time doing damage control and workarounds.

Over time, I grew increasingly uncomfortable working for an erratic and unprofessional leader. I voted with my feet and found a new position in an organization with leaders who demonstrated values much closer to my own. In fact, one of the primary reasons I later became a coach was to be true to my values.

Once you know your key values, you can take actions that increase authenticity, physical and emotional well-being, and happiness. Being true to your values is being true to yourself, and is a necessary step on your journey to your personal and professional success.

Jul 23

The Introvert’s Workplace Superpower

The difference between hearing and listening is profound. Several comments from readers about Monday’s blog, “Introverts And The Corner Office,” support the results of research into key differences in how introverts and extroverts listen and participate in workplace discussions.

Reacting Is Not Listening

When extroverts hear others talk or present in a business meeting, their brains are more likely to ramp up and make assumptions, quickly form opinions or questions, and pontificate before they pause to listen and observe participants’ vocal tone and body language. In addition, they may be unaware of the larger context of the discussion or the power dynamics in play.

One of the most sincere forms of respectThis is not listening – it is reacting.

In workplace meetings when political, personal or business stakes are high, this reveals itself when people talk over each other, carry on private conversations, or repeatedly interrupt others. Worse, situations can escalate into snide passive aggressive comments (or its companion behavior, disengaging with smart phone, tablet or laptop use), or heated arguments. I have witnessed fallout after these episodes that stalled or even ended careers.

The ability to listen rather than react comes down to impulse control (also called “attention” in psychology literature). Extroverts, such as myself, must take the time and make the effort to train our minds to be quiet to create a state of mind open to new information. It is tough, but worth the rewards.

The Power Of Listening

Introverts are more likely to be powerful listeners. Deep listening means you notice changes in vocal tone, body language and energy, as well as what is not being said. Instead of assumptions, you ask exploratory questions. Instead of comparing your perceptions of the current situation to past experience, you seek clarity with questions such as:

  • “What I hear you saying is…”
  • “Tell me more about…”
  • “What do you think can be done to improve our situation?”

These responses encourage additional exploration of the issues at hand and encourage problem solving rather than appearing to judge, be overly critical or uninformed. These questions allow others to feel heard and understood, which creates trust and builds powerful relationships. It also shows you to be a thoughtful, intelligent person who asks good questions and makes informed decisions.

However, for many introverts, saying anything in a business meeting can be nerve-wracking. My challenge to introverts is to listen, observe and ask at least one question or make one comment in every meeting. This will elevate your profile and build confidence, as well as build a helpful habit for your career.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC., and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching. 

 

Jul 16

How Driving 140 MPH Can Improve Your Career

The car fought back as I wrestled with the wheel to push the screaming NASCAR down into lane one before taking the second turn at Chicagoland Motor Speedway in Joliet, IL., at 140 mph.

NASCARs do not come equipped with power steering (or brakes) and I was still getting used to the bubbly rumble of its engine, the sticky heat trapped in my helmet, and the energy it took to aim the car.

Civilians can pay for the privilege of driving solo in actual NASCAR vehicles at the speedways  throughout the country. And for a few minutes (five to eight) get to feel for what it is like to drive at speeds of up to 155 mph.

I Am Going To Die

“Why would anyone allow me, a middle age man with questionable reflexes who drives a Prius,  behind the wheel of a race20140711_163446 car and drive about 150 mph?” kept racing through my mind during  training and waiting for my turn to drive.

Those thoughts melted into a mix of terror, exhilaration and extreme focus as I shifted into fourth gear and transitioned from the pit to the apron of the track. After that, I don’t recall breathing – just my mind spewing a string of expletives broken up only by the voice of a spotter giving me instructions through my earpiece.

After making it off the track and out of the car alive, I was elated that one more item on my personal to-do list could now be crossed off.

The Power Of Experience

I have rock climbed, rappelled, played with dolphins, whitewater river rafted, sat with people as they died, kayaked to a bioluminescent bay, hunted poisonous snakes, eaten meals from street carts in developing countries, and stumbled upon a mamma bear and her two cubs while hiking alone in Wyoming.

These and other stretch experiences provide context for the more mundane days and activities of daily life. Benefits of pushing your boundaries include:

  • Confidence to handle adversity and unexpected situations (i.e., “If I can climb a 150-foot vertical cliff without soiling myself, I can make a presentation on short notice without soiling myself”)
  • Understanding there is much more to life than your daily work routine
  • Inspire and educate yourself
  • Positive reinforcement to learn and do new things
  • New experiences add to our creativity

Not that you have to risk life or limb to push your boundaries. Your list could include a camping trip, finally read Moby Dick or relearning how to ride a bicycle. Put your list together and start making it happen and see the difference it makes in you and your work life.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC. 

 

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