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Posts tagged ‘self care’

Nov 18

‘Tis The Season To Be Stressed

Holiday parties, raised expectations for happiness, end-of-year work deadlines, travel, co-worker vacations, shopping excursions, fewer daylight hours, and additional child and school activities can add to our stress level. A poll of 600 full-time workers conducted by Accenture’s HR Services found 66 percent experience additional work stress during the holiday season.

The Time To Plan Is Now

By being proactive and thoughtful, we can manage seasonal stress in ways that reduce the pressure we feel, and increase our sense of well-being. The following are steps we can take to help make working during the holidays more enjoyable.

Prioritize. Put the most critical work projects at the top of your to-do list. Ask for clarification from your one-up if you are unsure what those are. Adjust or ask for permission to push back deadlines for lower priority projects.

Recognize that others may also be (6)

Communicate. Make sure people know when you are going to be out of the office (and ask co-workers for the same information). You can add those dates to your email signature, send an email to people who need to know your schedule and update your voice mail message. In addition, share who is covering for you in your absence.

Get flexible. Ask your supervisor to flex your schedule, or request days to work remotely. If neither is an option, then…

Take time off. If you are lucky enough to earn paid time off, use it! If you will need a day or even a week off to focus on shopping, family or to prepare for visitors – take it.

Exercise. Even if you don’t have time for a full workout, get physical. A short trip to the gym is better than none. Dust off your exercise machine and use it. Take a brisk walk or use the stairs at the office. Exercise is nature’s mood booster, and it also helps you…

Sleep. It’s not just children who are cranky when they are sleepy and need a nap. Since napping options are non-existent in most workplaces, it is vital to not skimp on sleep.

You have a right not to party. Go to the office parties where you are expected (you know which ones those are), and skip the rest while thanking hosts for the invitation.

Put down the cake, pies, cookies, egg nog and other goodies. Avoid the post-party or pot-luck food coma by eating a piece of fruit, a handful of nuts, or drinking a glass of water before heading into temptation.

And, perhaps the most important tip.

Be understanding. Recognize that others may also be struggling with the extra demands of the holiday season. Be compassionate to others, and yourself.

Happy holidays!

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Jul 27

Debbie Downer: Career Killer?

Debbie Downer was an SNL character and shining example of people who bleed the life out of a break room, cubicle farm, meeting, and even Walt Disney World (click here to set the SNL skit).

Unfortunately, it takes only one Downer to ruin the culture of a work group.  Downers are not just cynical, they seem to take satisfaction in spreading their unhappiness. However, they are a great example of what coaches call “structure.”

Structures are people and things that help or hinder our ability to reach our goals. Structures can be physical, such as an uncluttered office, a short or long commute, organizational structure, or adequate sleep. Our thoughts and beliefs form mental structures that shape our attitude, self-perception, responses to others, self-confidence, and more.

Other examples of structures include:debbie-downer

  • A morning routine prior to work
  • Family and friends
  • To-do lists
  • An annual performance review
  • The belief you are a strong leader
  • An exercise class

Getting back to Ms. Downer for a moment. A bad (or good) attitude is highly contagious so avoid the Downers as much as possible to avoid contamination. If you can’t stay away, either do your best to ignore their negativity, or challenge their viewpoint.

In the coaching process, clients might be asked to write a list of the structures that impact their work and life objectives. When appropriate, we may start with questions such as:

  • Which structures in my life are helpful?
  • What new structures can I put into place to be more productive?
  • Which structures are obstacles to success?
  • What obstacles have I created for myself?
  • How can I remove or reduce unproductive or counterproductive structures?

This exercise shines a light on what works for, and against your success. The most powerful answers to these questions require the ability to set aside rationalizations, truly understand your goals, and what is most important to you.

Once a list is completed, the next steps are to create a specific action plan to maximize supportive structures, weed out unhelpful structures, such as Debbie Downer, and hold yourself accountable to a timeline to make changes.

By taking positive actions that add good structures to your life, you move yourself further up the path toward career and life success.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and consulting.

Jul 21

Introverts And The Corner Office

It doesn’t seem fair, at least to many introverts, that extroverts enjoy a significant edge when it comes to hiring and promotions.

In my Friday blog, I shared findings from researchers who use the Five Factor Model (FFM, also called The Big 5) to study which dimensions of personality are linked to workplace success. Conscientiousness and extroversion are far and away the two dimensions most correlated to leadership.

The virtues of extroversion have been written about ad nauseam. So I will turn the tables and focus on introversion.

Introverts, Do Not PanicIntroverts are more effective leaders of

First, do not panic or believe you cannot snag a promotion or succeed in a leadership position – you can. Introverts comprise between 30 to 50 percent of the US population. Many are excellent leaders.

Second, extroversion and introversion are personality dimensions measured on a continuum, and most people land near the middle. Almost everyone is a mixture of the two.

Finally, introverts have secret weapons. When others talk, introverts listen (deeply), which often lead to thoughtful observations, and powerful questions. Because introverts are more likely to think before they speak, their feet rarely need to be dislodged from their mouths. These are all great leadership behaviors.

(To take a free Big Five assessment, click here)

Small Steps You Can Take Today

For those, including introverts, who want to boost their visibility at work, the following tips may help you.

  1. Write down, or better yet share with someone, what your short- and long-term goals are related to becoming more visible at work.
  2. Pick a small group of co-workers you do not regularly interact with, and join in a discussion. This can be done at lunchtime in the cafeteria, or by serving on a committee (Yes, I heard your exasperated sigh).
  3. Ask to make a presentation (or co-present) and highlight department project updates or accomplishments.
  4. Focus on those times when you successfully asked for a date, made light conversation with someone you just met, or spoke in public. Bask in the positive feelings (even if it was relief after it was over) of those accomplishments.
  5. Schedule down time after completing an activity that takes you out of your comfort zone, and assess what worked.

As more people get to know who you are, your sphere of influence grows. This will  help put you in the conversation for new roles and responsibilities.

That’s it. Step into some new situations you have some control over. In time you will be prepared to take larger steps, and move your leadership journey forward.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC., and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching. 

Jul 16

How Driving 140 MPH Can Improve Your Career

The car fought back as I wrestled with the wheel to push the screaming NASCAR down into lane one before taking the second turn at Chicagoland Motor Speedway in Joliet, IL., at 140 mph.

NASCARs do not come equipped with power steering (or brakes) and I was still getting used to the bubbly rumble of its engine, the sticky heat trapped in my helmet, and the energy it took to aim the car.

Civilians can pay for the privilege of driving solo in actual NASCAR vehicles at the speedways  throughout the country. And for a few minutes (five to eight) get to feel for what it is like to drive at speeds of up to 155 mph.

I Am Going To Die

“Why would anyone allow me, a middle age man with questionable reflexes who drives a Prius,  behind the wheel of a race20140711_163446 car and drive about 150 mph?” kept racing through my mind during  training and waiting for my turn to drive.

Those thoughts melted into a mix of terror, exhilaration and extreme focus as I shifted into fourth gear and transitioned from the pit to the apron of the track. After that, I don’t recall breathing – just my mind spewing a string of expletives broken up only by the voice of a spotter giving me instructions through my earpiece.

After making it off the track and out of the car alive, I was elated that one more item on my personal to-do list could now be crossed off.

The Power Of Experience

I have rock climbed, rappelled, played with dolphins, whitewater river rafted, sat with people as they died, kayaked to a bioluminescent bay, hunted poisonous snakes, eaten meals from street carts in developing countries, and stumbled upon a mamma bear and her two cubs while hiking alone in Wyoming.

These and other stretch experiences provide context for the more mundane days and activities of daily life. Benefits of pushing your boundaries include:

  • Confidence to handle adversity and unexpected situations (i.e., “If I can climb a 150-foot vertical cliff without soiling myself, I can make a presentation on short notice without soiling myself”)
  • Understanding there is much more to life than your daily work routine
  • Inspire and educate yourself
  • Positive reinforcement to learn and do new things
  • New experiences add to our creativity

Not that you have to risk life or limb to push your boundaries. Your list could include a camping trip, finally read Moby Dick or relearning how to ride a bicycle. Put your list together and start making it happen and see the difference it makes in you and your work life.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC. 

 

Jun 23

Successful People Have A Confidence Habit

“And no one will listen to us until weBy Gregory Alford, MS. Psy.

Just as there are no born leaders, no one is born with confidence. It comes with experience and practice. As adults, we have experienced life events that made us feel confident. We may have helped our child with a life or school lesson, reached an important work goal, or finished a DIY project on your home.

While none of us feels confident all the time, cultivating confidence and living more confidently can improve our lives in many ways. A confident person feels comfortable within themselves. They live their values and beliefs and have respect for others and gratitude.

What Confidence Looks Like

  • Openness to new experience
  • Positive energy
  • Calm
  • Influential
  • Action oriented
  • Future focused

The other side of confidence is doubt. While doubt can be healthy, too much of it creates indecision. When we are indecisive, our progress falters and our goals slide out of reach. Doubt can stem from external sources such as negative people, or our own negative thoughts.

Sometimes, simply making decisions, even if they turn out to be incorrect, boost our confidence. Learn from the outcome of the decision and continue to move forward. Simply developing the habit of making decisions builds confidence by moving you from a state of inaction to action.

Also, take a few moments to visualize some of your past accomplishments that gave you confidence.

Finally, practice self care so you feel your best. Self care includes exercise, mediation, hobbies, volunteering and spending time with family and friends. These activities will recharge you and give you more energy to live with confidence.

 

Apr 27

8 Ways To Banish Self-Doubt And Restore Confidence

By Gregory Alford, MS. PSY.

When we trust ourselves, we remove doubt and open the door to greater achievement.

When we trust ourselves, we remove doubt and open the door to greater achievement.

Each day, many of us play an internal game tug-of-war with self-trust and self-doubt pulling us in opposite directions. When self-trust gives way,  a cascade of negative feelings rush in.

What is Self-Trust?

Author Steven Covey describes self-trust as feeling confident and secure in our lives. Strong self-trust results in deeper a connection to ourselves, our loved ones, co-workers and community. It also is an indispensable part of self-reliance, resiliency and your ability to overcome inevitable setbacks.

Another benefit of enhancing self-trust, is it diminishes doubt. When we give into doubt, confidence and self-esteem are stripped, and energy and momentum are lost. When your thoughts tell you, “no,” “not now,” or “this is too hard,” when you want to take action – it is doubt talking.

Fortunately, you can improve your self-trust in many ways, including:

  • Make and keep promises by setting small goals and tracking achievements
  • Focus on what actions led you to achieve previous  goals
  • Develop support structures and habits that encourage achievement (i.e., self-care, calendars, checklists)
  • Visualize success
  • Choose to believe in yourself!

There are also things you can stop doing as well, such as:

  • Paying attention to negative people
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Worry about what others think of you

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. We all need help getting unstuck every once in a while. Be kind to yourself and reach out people who love and support you, a coach or therapist to help your build self-trust and confidence so you can achieve greatness.