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Posts tagged ‘coaching’

Oct 8

You Know It’s Time For A New Job When…

A significant percentage of my coaching clients struggle with whether or not to stay in their current job or career. For people who are underpaid, overstressed, have a toxic boss or want to relocate for lifestyle reasons, the decision to move on usually comes easy.

However, many clients are paid well, enjoy certain aspects of their job, have developed friendships at work, or feel insecure about the future. These and other factors can create paralysis. Even when clients have a strong gut feeling the time is right to move on, they can remain in a state of inaction for years.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try

Below is a list of four signs the time may be right to commit to finding greener pastures.

Values gap. This occurs when there is a  misalignment between what you experience day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the more discomfort your experience. For example, if your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration and disengagement. (Tip: pick your top five values from this list and compare them to what is valued at work.)

Dead end. If you look at your supervisor and say, “I don’t want that job!” it is time to consider whether you are comfortable in your present position for the foreseeable future. If you want to move up, it may be time to prepare to do it elsewhere.

Another version of the dead end is that you find you are no longer challenged at work, and are on autopilot most of the time.  If your one-up is unable or unwilling to provide new challenges, it is a sign your are on the path to…

Boredom. In the workplace, boredom is defined a lack meaningful work to absorb your energy. It impacts people at all stages of their careers, from entry-level to executive positions. In addition, research suggests extroverts, high performers, and younger workers are at greater risk for boredom.

John Eastwood, Ph.D., one of the authors of “The Unengaged Mind,”  writes boredom is associated with a host of unwelcome effects such as increased drug and alcohol use, overeating, depression, anxiety, and poor performance.

Same time next year. When I lived in the corporate world, I took time out around my work anniversary to assess if I wanted to be working for the same people/company on my next anniversary. When I didn’t want to, I quietly began to take steps to find another position. If your stomach churns at the thought of one more year doing the same old – same old, determine why and either fix it, come to terms with it, or begin to move on.

If you are struggling in your current position, or want to clarify whether the time is right for you to move on from your current job, please contact me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 6

5 Ways You Can Quickly Boost Your Mood At Work

A bad mood not only makes you feel crummy, it drains energy and blocks creativity. It also makes it difficult to be fully present and engage with others in productive ways.

Down moods are often the result of locking onto a negative event or thought. Sometimes we needlessly create stress by anticipating worst-case scenarios for future events.

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When I am feeling the funk, in a negative way, I have learned how to quickly move myself into a better state of mind. For me, the theme from the Banana Splits Adventure Hour, “The Tra La La Song,” is an instant mood enhancer. I can’t hear the song (especially its chorus) without singing out loud. It is slightly ridiculous, but it works for me.

You have more control over your mood than you may realize. In addition to listening to music that makes you feel good, there are other quick mood boosters you can use at the office.

Photographs. Research indicates looking at pictures is a bigger mood booster than eating chocolate. Load some of your favorite photos on your phone, an electronic picture frame, post a few in your cubicle or hang in your office. Then, take breaks and focus on those images of the people, places and things that bring you joy.

Move. Parking your posterior in a chair for hours on end is bad for your body and your mood. Instead of  grabbing a cup of coffee or heading to the vending machine for a package of Chuckles, walk around the office, take a short (or long) walk outside, use the stairs or stretch.  The goal is to get your heart pumping, and blood flowing with a dose of feel-good endorphins.

Vacation. Just thinking about your next vacation reduces stress. Whether you will escape to a warm beach in the depth of winter, spend time with far off loved ones, camp out under the stars, or hit the slopes, anticipating your next getaway will help you get through today.

Love. Shut down the computer, turn down the phone, close your eyes and bring to mind a few of your favorite things. You may want to focus on a meaningful event, such as when you met your significant other, held your child for the first time, or playtime with your pet. Gratefulness is a terrific way to reconnect to the best parts of yourself and your life, which can inoculate you from stress.

A coach can help you power through difficult times at work and create new opportunities for professionals and personal success.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Email me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free hour-long Power Session.

Sep 29

6 Ways To Deal With A Narcissist Leader

There seems to be at least one narcissist leader in every leadership group. In short, a narcissist leader is a person with an unrealistic or inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, unable to see others’ perspectives, and is hypersensitive to what they perceive as criticism. For the official American Psychological Association definition, click here.

When the narcissist is the CEO or they are peppered through the ranks of leaders the culture is going to be much harder to manage. If that describes your workplace, you are excused from reading the rest of this column, because you need to quit as soon as you possibly can.

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Narcissists often make very good leaders – for a while. When the good times are rolling, they can be easy going and charming. However, when the accolades dry up, they begin to feel challenged or threatened.

I once worked for a senior leader who pitched a screaming fit about twice a year when she wasn’t getting her way with a peer or team member. We never knew when it was coming, but the message was always a variation of “it’s your fault I am not reaching my goals.”

At this point a leader is toxic. Instead of accepting responsibility when a project fails to perform as anticipated, he will blame and then sacrifice followers as necessary to protect his self-image and position in the company. Trust among team members in the leader then evaporates and people become very task oriented in an effort to keep their heads down and not be noticed.

The Need for Loyalty

Many narcissist leaders are more concerned with how they present themselves than their actual effectiveness. When they feel others are turning on them (by “making them look bad”), they begin to demand loyalty. If someone has to ask or demand loyalty, they don’t deserve it.

I worked for a senior executive who pulled his direct reports into his office on a regular basis and asked us to help him “get the goods” on the current target of his ire. If you didn’t appear to be interested in helping him gain revenge by ruining someone else’s career, he took it as a sign you were not loyal. Needless to say, many “non-loyal” people simply “disappeared” from work.

What To Do

This list will help you, for a time, make peace with a narcissist leader.

  • Set your expectations low
  • Make them look good
  • Don’t demand or expect credit
  • Whatever hurtful thing is done or said, remember that it is not about you
  • Don’t give negative feedback – even (and especially) when asked
  • Line up a new position

If you need help managing a narcissist leader, please reach out to me via my website to schedule a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Learn more at http://acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com

Sep 16

Yoda – Leadership Guru

Yoda’s advice for wannabe Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker was, “Do or do not. There is no try.” This advice also holds true for mere mortals.

What Yoda shared with Luke is the need for commitment. An excellent definition comes from MacMillan, which states: enthusiasm for something and a determination to work hard at it.

-Do or do not. There is no try.-The key words are enthusiasm and determination. Too often we say we are committed to a goal, relationship or activity when we lack one or both of those ingredients. Without them we are simply trying to reach a goal, make a relationship work or complete an activity.

As Yoda says, “there is no try,” because without commitment success eludes us.

Try is a word that has failure baked into it. “Well, I tried,” is what we tell ourselves and others when we give up on a goal. When we try, it is easy to become distracted, unfocused and procrastinate. Self-doubt creeps in and begins to drain our confidence, energy and willingness to push through roadblocks. And we may start to look for scapegoats rather than push ourselves.

Fear Factor

One reason we end up trying instead of committing is fear. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule or fear that you will prove the doubters right.

When I work with leaders who are trying instead of committing is explore what is holding them back. Many times, it is a hidden inner belief they are not skilled enough, smart enough or deserving enough to achieve what they desire.

If that is the case, I ask clients to share some success stories, and how they felt after reaching a particularly difficult goal. This helps shift the focus to positive outcomes and emotions. Then, the conversation moves to what action steps they took and whether those steps be replicated in the current situation.

Ready, Set, Go!

Regardless of the reasons people get stuck in a trying mindset, there is only one solution, as Yoda says, “do or not do.” Once there is a commitment or re-commitment (Yoda’s “do”) to a goal, a plan of action needs to be created and then carried out. It can be uncomfortable, difficult and nerve wracking, but once we move into a state of action, doubts begin to fade. With each successful action step, we move  a little closer to the final goal. Confidence returns and enthusiasm builds as obstacles are overcome. When the goal is reached, make sure to take time out to celebrate.

If you need help moving from trying to committing, please reach out to me to schedule a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Sep 12

Are You Stuck?

Many people seek a coach when they feel stuck in a job, a specific work role, or a relationship. The first step in the coaching process is to help people clarify their goals. But fear, doubt and other negative emotions can block people from taking action to reach those goals.

Striving for something better is scary because the status quo is known and provides some level of emotional comfort and security. However, almost nothing good in life happens until we take action. You have to apply for a job before you can hope to be hired. When you want a promotion, you have to step up and ask for or accept new responsibilities. When you want to go on a date with someone, you have to either make or accept an invitation.

-There is no happiness without action.- (1)Action can be scary. In my early 20s, I wanted a better career and knew a college degree would make it happen. I was a poor student in high school, and didn’t know if I could handle college coursework. But, I swallowed hard and enrolled.

Sitting in my first class (Journalism 101), my stomach churned, knees knocked and heart pounded so hard I could barely hear the instructor. But, I lived to tell the tale, and eventually earned a Master of Science degree in Psychology. My education opened doors I never would have known existed  — if I had given into my fear and not taken action.

Take a look around your workplace and notice those people who are unhappy with their career. They are easy to find, just try to ignore someone who expresses their unhappiness every day. These co-workers exert more energy complaining about being stuck than it takes to make positive change. Still, they make a choice each day to remain in a state of inaction.

As a coach, I help people create a plan, break it into small manageable pieces, and build supportive structures. The first action is usually the most difficult. Experience has taught me that when people take the first step toward their goal, the next steps are a little easier. With each step forward, confidence grows as action becomes the new norm and people begin to feel “unstuck.”

It is a privilege to follow the progress of my clients as they take action and rebalance their lives, build stronger relationships, grab that promotion or find a better job. In each case, success was the result of their willingness to take the action necessary to reach their goals and dreams.

If you are feeling stuck, please reach out to me via LinkedIn or my website for a free Power Session.

Sep 4

3 Overlooked Reasons We Procrastinate, And 4 Fixes

Wayne Gretzky is absolutely right, when we don’t take action, we guarantee failure. Most of us have difficulty taking action from time to time, and about 20 percent of us are considered procrastinators.

At its worst, delay and procrastination leads us into a cul-de-sac of preventable crisis situations. Once in we move into crisis mode, our options are diminished and success is much harder to grasp. Research finds procrastinators earn lower grades in school, report more stress, illnesses, and produce lower quality work.

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Joseph Ferrari, professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago, a top researcher in the field of delay, reports that up to 20 percent of us are procrastinators.  “What I’ve found is that while everybody may procrastinate, not everyone is a procrastinator. It really has nothing to do with time-management.”

So, if procrastination is not related to time-management, what are the causes? While there are many reasons for it, the following three are among the most common.

  • Fear of failure or under performing. Once you give into this fear and delay action, procrastination and failure is almost certain.
  • Negative underlying beliefs about ourselves, such as “I do not deserve success,” “I am a fraud,” or “This is beyond my capabilities.” These beliefs are hard to spot, but exert a powerful influence on our behavior.
  • A lack of commitment, which is illustrated annually by failed New Year’s resolutions to lose weight. At heart, we don’t want to eat healthier or exercise more, so we don’t take action. This is why if you are not committed to your career, boss or employer, it shows up in your productivity.

The first step in moving from inaction to action is to gain self-awareness through self-reflection, talking to people you trust, or a leadership coach. Once you gain awareness, you can shift your perspective to a more empowering one.

Then, set small, specific, achievable and measurable goals (commonly referred to as SMART goals). By scaffolding your goals, your confidence will increase. In time, you will feel confident when bigger projects are dropped onto your desk.

List your goals on a white board, a paper checklist, or in your Outlook calendar. Finally, perhaps the most powerful way to stay on track is to commit to a goal publicly and ask others to hold you accountable. Goals that you write or share with others increases your accountability and can increase the likelihood you will reach your goals on schedule.

If you want to learn more about overcoming procrastination, please reach out to me for a free Power Session of coaching.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and marcom consulting.

Aug 28

The Power of Acknowledging Others (And Yourself)

One of our deepest needs is to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, it is a skill too few leaders cultivate.

It comes at a cost. The number one driver of employee engagement is recognition and praise. Many studies, including one published in the Harvard Business Review in 2010 about Best Buy, find a direct correlation between employee satisfaction and profits.

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The best leaders are always looking for opportunities to give praise. It is a powerful motivator that provides the fuel many people need to perform at their best.  Even better, it is infectious. Catch people in the act of doing good, and most will pay it forward.

The most powerful acknowledgement focuses on behaviors, such as completing a work project on time, mentoring a co-worker, or going above and beyond to help a customer. When you acknowledge, you draw attention to something wonderful about a person.

Comments related to how someone looks or dresses has much less impact, and can be taken negatively by the receiver. When done appropriately, it strengthens relationships and builds trust. It can be verbal, or written, and is often most appreciated when done publicly (especially at work).

Acknowledgment Is…

  • Heartfelt
  • Occurs after action (ideally immediately)
  • Highlights good deeds
  • Encouragement

Recall a time when you received sincere acknowledgment, and notice how good it still makes you feel. Now, recall when you completed a project and there was no acknowledgment. Big difference – isn’t it? This is why behaviors that are regularly acknowledge generally increase over time.

Self-Acknowledgement Is Also Vital

Acknowledgement is definitely a two-way street. It can have an even greater impact when we turn it on ourselves. Silently, we are often guilty of calling ourselves names that would cause a fight if someone else said it to our face. Negative self-talk drains energy and pulls us further from our best qualities.

I work with many of my coaching clients to create self-awareness so they notice when they start a  negative internal dialogue, and to substitute positive things they can tell themselves. In addition, giving yourself a verbal pat on the back can help avoid disappointment that follows when your contributions or accomplishments go unrecognized by others.

So, your challenge today and everyday is to catch someone in the act of doing good and acknowledge them. You will discover it makes everyone’s day!

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and marcom consulting. 

Aug 26

1 Comment

Taking Time Off Work Adds Years To Your Life

Children are heading back to school and summer’s final hurrah in the U.S., Labor Day, is once again upon us. With that in mind, my question for you is: did you take time off this summer?

Note the question starts with “did you,” and not, “how much.”

Figures vary, but between 20 and 25 percent of U.S. workers have zero paid days off. The Families and Work Institute reports less than half those who receive paid time off take the full allotment of vacation time they earn. Both sets of statistics have serious short- and long-term consequences for employees and employers.

Stress is an ignorant state

Some leaders might believe it saves money and increases productivity to withhold paid vacation time, or nurture a culture that discourages taking time off (or expects people to work during their off hours).

What these leaders actually do is nurture an environment where there is no escape from work-related stress. This leads to unhealthy employees, drives up health care costs, and increases absenteeism. These work environments contribute to the early death of some of their best employees. Good leaders should strive to leave a better legacy than this.

Vacations Are Good For People And Companies

While stress can be good for us in the short-term by boosting energy and focus. The American Psychology Association  reports extreme stress can adversely affect the immune, cardiovascular, neuroendocrine, and central nervous systems.

Mayo Clinic reports long-term stress “can disrupt almost all your body’s processes,” and lead to a higher incidence of health problems such as:

  • anxiety
  • depression
  • digestive problems
  • heart disease
  • sleep problems
  • weight gain
  • memory and concentration impairment.

If half or more of your employees are at higher risk of those health issues due to your policies or culture, any perceived cost and productivity benefits evaporate. Organizations with significant numbers of long-term employees need to examine paid time off policies and employee utilization to maximize positive impacts of vacations.

Need more proof? The Framingham Heart Study confirms vacations can mitigate some of the worst effects of long-term work stress. Researchers followed more than 12,000 men at risk of heart disease for nine years. The findings? The more vacations they took, the longer they lived.

Harvard Health Publications puts an even finer point on this relationship. It reports, “men who took the most vacations were 29 percent less likely to be diagnosed with heart disease and 17 percent less likely to die over the nine-year study period than those who did not take regular vacations.”

Granted, these last two findings focused only on men, but stress has similar impacts on both genders.

In my coaching and consulting practice, I encourage business owners to provide paid time off to all employees (after a onboarding period), and work with leaders to explore “use it or lose it” paid time off policies. I also urge clients to use all their paid time off, and avoid the temptation to check or answer work e-mail when away from the office.

Need help setting good boundaries between your work and personal life? Or help getting your career back on track?  Contact me for a free coaching assessment call.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and consulting. 

Aug 22

1 Comment

‘Impostor’ Bosses Are Trouble For Your Career

While many or even most of us may lack confidence from time-to-time, there are leaders who trap themselves into a perpetual state of anxiety when it comes to their self-image as a leader.

Dubbed “impostor syndrome,” these leaders are insecure, and unsure they are able to bear the responsibilities they have been given. Many build their work lives around to avoid being “discovered” as a fraud.

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Impostors often move quickly through the ranks using slash and burn political skills rather than high performance to make their mark. Often, these are outgoing, charismatic people who can tell a good story, and can accumulate enough power to ruin all or parts of an organization.

Insecurity drives them to ingratiate themselves with their boss, even at the expense of others or the entire organization. A common behavior is to divert resources to pet projects of their boss. Although this is not unusual, the impostor find it difficult to say “no” to even the most unreasonable (or possibly unethical or illegal) demand from their boss. To do so risks the primary work relationship the impostor is vested in, and risks angering the boss who might become critical of other actions the impostor has made.

Impostors As Narcissists

Perhaps paradoxically, to compensate for their internal feelings of weakness, impostors often take on characteristics of narcissists. They feel as if they are always in the spotlight, take credit for the success of team members, and are stingy with praise. When confronted with a failure or mistake, they blame others, and try to distance themselves from responsibility. They stand up for team members only when it is advantageous for them.

Impostors often end up as workaholics, and burn out because they can never satisfy their desire for external validation.

It shouldn’t surprise anyone that impostors are wildly unpopular with subordinates. Impostor leaders communicate they distrust their followers in many ways. An example that I have experienced on multiple occasions, and my clients often describe, goes something like this…

After a of poor employee satisfaction score, Human Resources goes conducts focus groups with employees hand-picked by the leader. The group interview results include a list of opportunities for the leader to improve, which is presented to the leader.

Instead of taking time for self-reflection, gain an appreciation for how others perceive your leadership, and take steps to improve, impostors go into ego defense mode. The impostor leader schedules one-to-one meetings with team members who participated in the group interviews and grills each one to find out who made negative comments about them. People suspected of being disloyal are punished by losing plum assignments, receive poor performance reviews, or starved of resources.

The leader then makes the team responsible for improving their own work satisfaction (because the team is the problem). Nothing changes except higher turnover, and increased cynicism.

If you are working for an impostor, there are steps you can take that may improve the work environment. Or, you can begin to create a plan for the next step in your career. If you find yourself in this situation, please reach out to me for a free 50-minute session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and consulting. 

Aug 11

11 Tips For Flawless Print Interviews

In my career, I have worked both sides of the media street. I spent seven years grinding out stories as a newspaper reporter before joining “the dark side” of public relations.

My years the newsroom gave me an appreciation for good PR people. Now that I am on the dark side, I do my best to help my clients get their story out, and be a resource for reporters. The following 11 tips will help you and the reporter get what each needs.

Several of these tips overlap those provided in my previous blog, 10 Tips For Flawless TV Interviews, but there are important differences in how to prepare and handle written interviews versus TV.

  1. Develop a “Touchstone.” One of the primary reasons to be interviewed is to get a message out. For example, if you are interviewed about a new medical procedure, an option is to discuss organization’s commitment to quality, “at hospital X, bringing new and innovative procedures is how we improve care…”

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  1. Avoid email interviews (except in an appropriate crisis situation). It takes dialogue to build relationships with reporters. This can be face-to-face, phone or a video service such as Skype.

  2. Learn the boundaries. Before the interview, ask the writer what the scope of the discussion will be, what background information the reporter has, and be ready to provide additional background information.

  3. Prepare. Research the topic that is going to be discussed. This will help you feel more confident and the reporter will appreciate your expertise.

  4. But don’t over prepare. Unless the story is for the New York Times Sunday Magazine, you only have to describe your watch – not explain in painful detail how it is made. Write down a few key points in bullet point form.

  5. Be Yourself. Focus on having a conversation with your interviewer. Keep in mind you are being interviewed because you are the expert.

  6. Pause. After a question, pause before answering to give you a moment to formulate your response.

  7. Slow down. Writers are either scribbling or typing notes so remember to slow down the pace of your comments. They will definitely appreciate your effort.

  8. Avoid jargon and acronyms. Keep your conversation to a 6th grade level.

  9. Be accurate. Make sure whatever information you provide in an interview is absolutely accurate. If you don’t know an answer it’s no big deal simply let the reporter know when you will provide the information after the interview and follow through.

Bonus Tip. Don’t ask to see the story before it is published. This question irritates reporters and is against journalism’s rules. However, you can ask to review your quotes before publication. You may still get a firm “no,” but some reporters are okay doing this if the topic is highly technical or outside their expertise.

These tips will help relax people who have not been interviewed for publication or have had a bad experience in the past. Plus, they help you be the go-to resource in your organization.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in marcom consulting, as well as business, leadership and life coaching.

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