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Posts from the ‘Coaching Blogs’ Category

Oct 14

The Best – And Worst Leadership Advice In One Sentence

The best, and worst, leadership advice given to me came in the form of a single sentence. It was delivered more than 20 years ago by the managing editor of a newspaper in California.

The comment resulted from a conversation I initiated concerning a colleague in the process of deciding whether to leave the paper. Her reasons for quitting were easy to address, and I went to bat for her because she was, and is, a very talented writer (who became a national best-selling author) who made the paper better. Plus, she served as an important mentor to several reporters, including myself.

After I finished pleading my case for action, he leaned back in his chair and said I should not concern myself with what decision she made because, “the paper will be printed and delivered tomorrow morning whether any of us quits or stays.”

The Good

Intentional or not, the statement’s wisdom is that no matter how important anyone thinks they are to an organization, it will not fall apart because one person leaves. This insight keeps me from getting “too big for my britches,” and is a reminder that no single person, regardless of title, is stands above the entire enterprise.

-the paper will be printed and delivered

The Bad

However, once I settled into my first leadership position, I learned that while the statement is true – it is dumb. The top priority for all leaders is to build, and sustain a great team. That means creating a positive culture, re-recruiting high performers, ensuring adequate education, and providing advancement opportunities.

When leaders, such as my former editor, infect a workplace with the attitude that employees are simply interchangeable cogs in a machine, it de-humanizes people.

The Ugly

Not surprisingly, one of the half-jokes in the newsroom was that reporters were going to be replaced by specially trained monkeys from Honduras (not sure why they were from Honduras). The culture resulted in poor productivity. It sank the point the managing editor created story quotas for news reporters.

Unsurprisingly, the quota system created a disincentive to work. Story length was not taken into account, so reporters who had beats that tended to result in short stories simply went home once they hit their quota because they were “done.” That aggravated many people, and added to the divisions and distractions already festering in the newsroom. The quota policy eventually faded away, but the damage was already done.

The Lesson

I have done my best to not emulate that editor. And if I could go back in time and respond, I would have said, “perhaps, but when you hire, value and support the right people, the product will be much better.”

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 8

You Know It’s Time For A New Job When…

A significant percentage of my coaching clients struggle with whether or not to stay in their current job or career. For people who are underpaid, overstressed, have a toxic boss or want to relocate for lifestyle reasons, the decision to move on usually comes easy.

However, many clients are paid well, enjoy certain aspects of their job, have developed friendships at work, or feel insecure about the future. These and other factors can create paralysis. Even when clients have a strong gut feeling the time is right to move on, they can remain in a state of inaction for years.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try

Below is a list of four signs the time may be right to commit to finding greener pastures.

Values gap. This occurs when there is a  misalignment between what you experience day-to-day versus how you want to live your life. The larger the gap (or gaps), the more discomfort your experience. For example, if your highest value is compassion, and you work for a company that treats its customers or workers poorly, the gap often manifests itself as stress, frustration and disengagement. (Tip: pick your top five values from this list and compare them to what is valued at work.)

Dead end. If you look at your supervisor and say, “I don’t want that job!” it is time to consider whether you are comfortable in your present position for the foreseeable future. If you want to move up, it may be time to prepare to do it elsewhere.

Another version of the dead end is that you find you are no longer challenged at work, and are on autopilot most of the time.  If your one-up is unable or unwilling to provide new challenges, it is a sign your are on the path to…

Boredom. In the workplace, boredom is defined a lack meaningful work to absorb your energy. It impacts people at all stages of their careers, from entry-level to executive positions. In addition, research suggests extroverts, high performers, and younger workers are at greater risk for boredom.

John Eastwood, Ph.D., one of the authors of “The Unengaged Mind,”  writes boredom is associated with a host of unwelcome effects such as increased drug and alcohol use, overeating, depression, anxiety, and poor performance.

Same time next year. When I lived in the corporate world, I took time out around my work anniversary to assess if I wanted to be working for the same people/company on my next anniversary. When I didn’t want to, I quietly began to take steps to find another position. If your stomach churns at the thought of one more year doing the same old – same old, determine why and either fix it, come to terms with it, or begin to move on.

If you are struggling in your current position, or want to clarify whether the time is right for you to move on from your current job, please contact me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting.

Oct 6

5 Ways You Can Quickly Boost Your Mood At Work

A bad mood not only makes you feel crummy, it drains energy and blocks creativity. It also makes it difficult to be fully present and engage with others in productive ways.

Down moods are often the result of locking onto a negative event or thought. Sometimes we needlessly create stress by anticipating worst-case scenarios for future events.

-Gratitude makes sense of our past, (1)

When I am feeling the funk, in a negative way, I have learned how to quickly move myself into a better state of mind. For me, the theme from the Banana Splits Adventure Hour, “The Tra La La Song,” is an instant mood enhancer. I can’t hear the song (especially its chorus) without singing out loud. It is slightly ridiculous, but it works for me.

You have more control over your mood than you may realize. In addition to listening to music that makes you feel good, there are other quick mood boosters you can use at the office.

Photographs. Research indicates looking at pictures is a bigger mood booster than eating chocolate. Load some of your favorite photos on your phone, an electronic picture frame, post a few in your cubicle or hang in your office. Then, take breaks and focus on those images of the people, places and things that bring you joy.

Move. Parking your posterior in a chair for hours on end is bad for your body and your mood. Instead of  grabbing a cup of coffee or heading to the vending machine for a package of Chuckles, walk around the office, take a short (or long) walk outside, use the stairs or stretch.  The goal is to get your heart pumping, and blood flowing with a dose of feel-good endorphins.

Vacation. Just thinking about your next vacation reduces stress. Whether you will escape to a warm beach in the depth of winter, spend time with far off loved ones, camp out under the stars, or hit the slopes, anticipating your next getaway will help you get through today.

Love. Shut down the computer, turn down the phone, close your eyes and bring to mind a few of your favorite things. You may want to focus on a meaningful event, such as when you met your significant other, held your child for the first time, or playtime with your pet. Gratefulness is a terrific way to reconnect to the best parts of yourself and your life, which can inoculate you from stress.

A coach can help you power through difficult times at work and create new opportunities for professionals and personal success.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Email me at Galford@acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com for a free hour-long Power Session.

Sep 29

6 Ways To Deal With A Narcissist Leader

There seems to be at least one narcissist leader in every leadership group. In short, a narcissist leader is a person with an unrealistic or inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, unable to see others’ perspectives, and is hypersensitive to what they perceive as criticism. For the official American Psychological Association definition, click here.

When the narcissist is the CEO or they are peppered through the ranks of leaders the culture is going to be much harder to manage. If that describes your workplace, you are excused from reading the rest of this column, because you need to quit as soon as you possibly can.

From Tolerable to Toxic59ee4e7eba7ca4a9c4eb3eb8938b2066

Narcissists often make very good leaders – for a while. When the good times are rolling, they can be easy going and charming. However, when the accolades dry up, they begin to feel challenged or threatened.

I once worked for a senior leader who pitched a screaming fit about twice a year when she wasn’t getting her way with a peer or team member. We never knew when it was coming, but the message was always a variation of “it’s your fault I am not reaching my goals.”

At this point a leader is toxic. Instead of accepting responsibility when a project fails to perform as anticipated, he will blame and then sacrifice followers as necessary to protect his self-image and position in the company. Trust among team members in the leader then evaporates and people become very task oriented in an effort to keep their heads down and not be noticed.

The Need for Loyalty

Many narcissist leaders are more concerned with how they present themselves than their actual effectiveness. When they feel others are turning on them (by “making them look bad”), they begin to demand loyalty. If someone has to ask or demand loyalty, they don’t deserve it.

I worked for a senior executive who pulled his direct reports into his office on a regular basis and asked us to help him “get the goods” on the current target of his ire. If you didn’t appear to be interested in helping him gain revenge by ruining someone else’s career, he took it as a sign you were not loyal. Needless to say, many “non-loyal” people simply “disappeared” from work.

What To Do

This list will help you, for a time, make peace with a narcissist leader.

  • Set your expectations low
  • Make them look good
  • Don’t demand or expect credit
  • Whatever hurtful thing is done or said, remember that it is not about you
  • Don’t give negative feedback – even (and especially) when asked
  • Line up a new position

If you need help managing a narcissist leader, please reach out to me via my website to schedule a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and Marcom consulting. Learn more at http://acceleratedcoachingandconsulting.com

Sep 16

Yoda – Leadership Guru

Yoda’s advice for wannabe Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker was, “Do or do not. There is no try.” This advice also holds true for mere mortals.

What Yoda shared with Luke is the need for commitment. An excellent definition comes from MacMillan, which states: enthusiasm for something and a determination to work hard at it.

-Do or do not. There is no try.-The key words are enthusiasm and determination. Too often we say we are committed to a goal, relationship or activity when we lack one or both of those ingredients. Without them we are simply trying to reach a goal, make a relationship work or complete an activity.

As Yoda says, “there is no try,” because without commitment success eludes us.

Try is a word that has failure baked into it. “Well, I tried,” is what we tell ourselves and others when we give up on a goal. When we try, it is easy to become distracted, unfocused and procrastinate. Self-doubt creeps in and begins to drain our confidence, energy and willingness to push through roadblocks. And we may start to look for scapegoats rather than push ourselves.

Fear Factor

One reason we end up trying instead of committing is fear. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule or fear that you will prove the doubters right.

When I work with leaders who are trying instead of committing is explore what is holding them back. Many times, it is a hidden inner belief they are not skilled enough, smart enough or deserving enough to achieve what they desire.

If that is the case, I ask clients to share some success stories, and how they felt after reaching a particularly difficult goal. This helps shift the focus to positive outcomes and emotions. Then, the conversation moves to what action steps they took and whether those steps be replicated in the current situation.

Ready, Set, Go!

Regardless of the reasons people get stuck in a trying mindset, there is only one solution, as Yoda says, “do or not do.” Once there is a commitment or re-commitment (Yoda’s “do”) to a goal, a plan of action needs to be created and then carried out. It can be uncomfortable, difficult and nerve wracking, but once we move into a state of action, doubts begin to fade. With each successful action step, we move  a little closer to the final goal. Confidence returns and enthusiasm builds as obstacles are overcome. When the goal is reached, make sure to take time out to celebrate.

If you need help moving from trying to committing, please reach out to me to schedule a free, no obligation one-hour Power Session.

Sep 12

Are You Stuck?

Many people seek a coach when they feel stuck in a job, a specific work role, or a relationship. The first step in the coaching process is to help people clarify their goals. But fear, doubt and other negative emotions can block people from taking action to reach those goals.

Striving for something better is scary because the status quo is known and provides some level of emotional comfort and security. However, almost nothing good in life happens until we take action. You have to apply for a job before you can hope to be hired. When you want a promotion, you have to step up and ask for or accept new responsibilities. When you want to go on a date with someone, you have to either make or accept an invitation.

-There is no happiness without action.- (1)Action can be scary. In my early 20s, I wanted a better career and knew a college degree would make it happen. I was a poor student in high school, and didn’t know if I could handle college coursework. But, I swallowed hard and enrolled.

Sitting in my first class (Journalism 101), my stomach churned, knees knocked and heart pounded so hard I could barely hear the instructor. But, I lived to tell the tale, and eventually earned a Master of Science degree in Psychology. My education opened doors I never would have known existed  — if I had given into my fear and not taken action.

Take a look around your workplace and notice those people who are unhappy with their career. They are easy to find, just try to ignore someone who expresses their unhappiness every day. These co-workers exert more energy complaining about being stuck than it takes to make positive change. Still, they make a choice each day to remain in a state of inaction.

As a coach, I help people create a plan, break it into small manageable pieces, and build supportive structures. The first action is usually the most difficult. Experience has taught me that when people take the first step toward their goal, the next steps are a little easier. With each step forward, confidence grows as action becomes the new norm and people begin to feel “unstuck.”

It is a privilege to follow the progress of my clients as they take action and rebalance their lives, build stronger relationships, grab that promotion or find a better job. In each case, success was the result of their willingness to take the action necessary to reach their goals and dreams.

If you are feeling stuck, please reach out to me via LinkedIn or my website for a free Power Session.

Sep 9

6 Ways Work Makes You Stupider

The number of ways our workspaces and workplaces conspire to make us dumber is pretty amazing. At times, I wonder if an evil genius sat down and thought, “how can I create an environment that ruins everyone’s productivity?” And after much thought, created the modern workplace.

Below are a few examples of how our brains are drained at work, and what you can do to preserve productivity.

Your E-mail

I am positive you can recall the last time you were “in the zone” as you worked on a complex project only to hear the Ding! or see a the ghostly image of an email notification on your computer screen.   The distraction is momentary, maybe one second. But when you try to pick up where you left off, your train of thought has left the station.

A 2005 survey of 1,100 workers found that interruptions such as email, a ringing phone, or the co-worker who drops by to tell you how great his weekend was, have a greater impact on your concentration than smoking marijuana.

A simple fix is to turn off all email notifications, and silence the phone to remove distractions when you need all of your attention focused on work.

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Your Chair

Parking yourself in a chair for long periods of time not only slows down your body – it slows your brain’s ability to process information. Research finds working memory functions improves when you walk at a natural pace. Researchers from the British Psychological Society speculate that walking at a comfortable pace provides a boost of energy to the brain and expands its processing capacity.

So those people who set up a work station on a treadmill may look a little strange, but they may be onto a good thing. But for most of us, our best option is to get up and take a walk, outside if possible, to help reset your brain for high concentration work.

Meetings

Research from Virginia Tech finds IQ test scores drop for those who attended a meeting compared to those who work on their own. Specifically, post-study tests of cognition reveal large numbers of those in the meeting group experienced significant drops in the ability to solve problems. The largest impact is on those who receive negative status cues from higher position co-workers. Unfortunately, that describes the communication that takes place in many or a majority of business meetings.

My advice, if you don’t need to be in a meeting, don’t go.

Other Dumb Stuff

  • The donuts or birthday cake in the break room can take your blood sugar on a wild ride the leaves your brain depleted. Leave the junk food alone.
  • Prolonged stress suppresses short-term memory and disrupts sleep, which results in a host of cognitive difficulties. Seek out ways to reduce your stress levels.
  • Free coffee can lead to overconsumption of caffeine and result in withdrawal symptoms that include poorer cognitive function, until you have your next cup. Monitor your caffeine intake and cut back, if possible.

If you would like to increase your effectiveness at work, contact me to schedule a free Power Session.

Sep 4

3 Overlooked Reasons We Procrastinate, And 4 Fixes

Wayne Gretzky is absolutely right, when we don’t take action, we guarantee failure. Most of us have difficulty taking action from time to time, and about 20 percent of us are considered procrastinators.

At its worst, delay and procrastination leads us into a cul-de-sac of preventable crisis situations. Once in we move into crisis mode, our options are diminished and success is much harder to grasp. Research finds procrastinators earn lower grades in school, report more stress, illnesses, and produce lower quality work.

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Joseph Ferrari, professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago, a top researcher in the field of delay, reports that up to 20 percent of us are procrastinators.  “What I’ve found is that while everybody may procrastinate, not everyone is a procrastinator. It really has nothing to do with time-management.”

So, if procrastination is not related to time-management, what are the causes? While there are many reasons for it, the following three are among the most common.

  • Fear of failure or under performing. Once you give into this fear and delay action, procrastination and failure is almost certain.
  • Negative underlying beliefs about ourselves, such as “I do not deserve success,” “I am a fraud,” or “This is beyond my capabilities.” These beliefs are hard to spot, but exert a powerful influence on our behavior.
  • A lack of commitment, which is illustrated annually by failed New Year’s resolutions to lose weight. At heart, we don’t want to eat healthier or exercise more, so we don’t take action. This is why if you are not committed to your career, boss or employer, it shows up in your productivity.

The first step in moving from inaction to action is to gain self-awareness through self-reflection, talking to people you trust, or a leadership coach. Once you gain awareness, you can shift your perspective to a more empowering one.

Then, set small, specific, achievable and measurable goals (commonly referred to as SMART goals). By scaffolding your goals, your confidence will increase. In time, you will feel confident when bigger projects are dropped onto your desk.

List your goals on a white board, a paper checklist, or in your Outlook calendar. Finally, perhaps the most powerful way to stay on track is to commit to a goal publicly and ask others to hold you accountable. Goals that you write or share with others increases your accountability and can increase the likelihood you will reach your goals on schedule.

If you want to learn more about overcoming procrastination, please reach out to me for a free Power Session of coaching.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and marcom consulting.

Sep 2

Leadership Lessons From The Dog Whisperer

About 10 years ago I started watching Cesar Millan’s first television show, The Dog Whisperer, and was  amazed by the similarities between “pack leader” and human leadership behaviors.

Please note that I am not suggesting that followers are puppies who need to be led. Instead, what I started to realize is leadership behaviors can cut across different species. For example, dogs are pack animals, and humans often work in teams. And for both, there are many more followers than leaders.

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Personal disclosure: I am the aspiring pack leader of my newly adopted 2-year-old pit bull Haley.

Calm, Assertive Energy

Millan believes the type and quality of energy we project is key to leadership. “To establish yourself as the pack leader, you must always project a calm, assertive energy. This natural balance (calm, assertive leadership…) nurtures stability and creates a balanced, centered, and happy dog (or human team – my words),” he writes on his website.

Empirical research of the human variety supports the idea that Millan’s concept applies to humans, too. More than 1 million people took part in study conducted by TalentSmart, which finds “90 percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control.”

Sounds like calm, assertive energy to me.

Millan advises that posture, eye contact (assertive, not aggressive) and projecting confidence tells your dogs that you are in charge. I can’t count the number of articles and books that have the same or similar advice for human leaders.

On the flip side, Millan finds that insecure, anxious dogs pick up that energy from their human, which leads to behavioral issues that leads to many of his televised interventions.

Exercise (performance), discipline (guidance), and affection (acknowledgement)

In addition, three major behavioral components that create a happy dog or dog pack are exercise, discipline and affection, in that order, says Millan. In many Dog Whisperer episodes he refers to the walk as the time of day you are giving your dog a job to do, which is why I equate exercise to human work performance.

A work example of this principle is when your direct report completes a significant work project. If the performance is great, go ahead and acknowledge the excellent work. (Read my recent blog on acknowledgement to better understand how important this is for your team – and yourself.) If the project is not ready for primetime, provide guidance (“rules, boundaries, and limitations,” according to Millan), and close your discussion by acknowledging progress.

When we focus too much on one of the three elements, such as performance (outcome), we are not providing enough guidance or support that leads to high quality work performance. In addition, you may be starving your workers of the praise they need to feel good about their work, which results in an unhappy and underperforming team.

If you want to work on improving any of your leadership skills, please reach out to me via my website for a free Power Session.

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and marcom consulting

Aug 28

The Power of Acknowledging Others (And Yourself)

One of our deepest needs is to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, it is a skill too few leaders cultivate.

It comes at a cost. The number one driver of employee engagement is recognition and praise. Many studies, including one published in the Harvard Business Review in 2010 about Best Buy, find a direct correlation between employee satisfaction and profits.

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The best leaders are always looking for opportunities to give praise. It is a powerful motivator that provides the fuel many people need to perform at their best.  Even better, it is infectious. Catch people in the act of doing good, and most will pay it forward.

The most powerful acknowledgement focuses on behaviors, such as completing a work project on time, mentoring a co-worker, or going above and beyond to help a customer. When you acknowledge, you draw attention to something wonderful about a person.

Comments related to how someone looks or dresses has much less impact, and can be taken negatively by the receiver. When done appropriately, it strengthens relationships and builds trust. It can be verbal, or written, and is often most appreciated when done publicly (especially at work).

Acknowledgment Is…

  • Heartfelt
  • Occurs after action (ideally immediately)
  • Highlights good deeds
  • Encouragement

Recall a time when you received sincere acknowledgment, and notice how good it still makes you feel. Now, recall when you completed a project and there was no acknowledgment. Big difference – isn’t it? This is why behaviors that are regularly acknowledge generally increase over time.

Self-Acknowledgement Is Also Vital

Acknowledgement is definitely a two-way street. It can have an even greater impact when we turn it on ourselves. Silently, we are often guilty of calling ourselves names that would cause a fight if someone else said it to our face. Negative self-talk drains energy and pulls us further from our best qualities.

I work with many of my coaching clients to create self-awareness so they notice when they start a  negative internal dialogue, and to substitute positive things they can tell themselves. In addition, giving yourself a verbal pat on the back can help avoid disappointment that follows when your contributions or accomplishments go unrecognized by others.

So, your challenge today and everyday is to catch someone in the act of doing good and acknowledge them. You will discover it makes everyone’s day!

Gregory Alford, MS. Psy., is founder of Accelerated Coaching & Consulting, LLC, and specializes in business, leadership and life coaching and marcom consulting. 

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